10:”GEORGE BUSH!”

9:They were sending a team of Wind Powered Ninjas.

8:”Is Libya like Liberal? Liberals are nice. They won’t do anything bad”

7:They were sending a team of Solar Powered Ninjas.

6:Valerie said something mean about my ears, so I pouted until it was over. (With ears like that how can you not fucking hear?)

5:I could feel my fingers were hot, and I didn’t want to cool them before I hit the crap tables i vegas. And did I say “GEORGE BUSH!”

4:Duh! Chris Stevens was white.

3:Bullets cost money, you know, and we need that to give phones away.

2:They didn’t give him time to appoint a gang-rape czar.

And the Number One Reason Obama did nothing about Bengazi

1:He thought he was watching a porno, and just unzipped his pants and went along for the ride.