It was twenty years ago today,
Janet Reno taught the Feds to play
They’ve been going in to steal your rights
And they’re guaranteed to start some fights.
So may I introduce to you
The act you’ve known for all these years,
Janet Reno’s New Improved G-man.
We’re Janet Reno’s New Improved G-man,
We hope you will submit to us,
We’re Janet Reno’s New Improved G-man,
if not we’ll put you on the bus!.
Janet Reno’s New, that’s Janet Reno’s New, that’s
Janet Reno’s New Improved G-man.
It’s wonderful to be here,
It’s certainly a thrill.
You’re such a lovely bunch of sheep,
you’d better never make a peep,
you’d better shut your yap.
I don’t really want to stop the show,
But I thought that you might like to know,
Janet Reno’s going to sing a song,
And commands you all to sing along.
So let me introduce to you
The one and only prick with ears
And Janet Reno’s New Improved G-man.
Prick… with…… earrrrrrssssss!
What would you think if I blew up your home,
Would you shoot back at my G-man band?.
I have the power to burn down your home,
Just because I think you’re out of hand.
I start fires with a little help from my fiends,
I burn tires with a little help from my fiends,
Kids will fry with a little help from my fiends.
What do I do when slick willy is away.
(Does it worry you to be alone)
How do I feel by the end of the day
(Are you sad because you’re on your own)
No I get by with a little help from my fiends,
Do you need anybody,
I need somebody to kill.
Could it be anybody
I have the power, and I have the will.
Would you believe I can do what I want,
Yes I kill without a thought to who.
What do you see when you knock out their lights,
I see someone who looks a lot like you.
Oh I get by with a little help from my fiends,
Do you need anybody,
I just need somebody to kill,
Could it be anybody,
I just want someone to kill.
I get by with a little help from my fiends,
Yes I get by with a little help from my fiends,
With a little help from my fiends.
Clearly- the Davidians were whackjobs who had no more business being in charge of children than the man in the moon, but if that’s illegal, there are a powerful bunch of lawbreakers out there. Reno and her ilk- like most Democrats- are distilled evil, for whom no pain can ever be enough to act as recompense for the lives she took.
Hat tip Mr B, whose title inspired the satire.
The whole excuse that they hadda enter the compound for “Teh kiddiez!” was made up after the ATF screwed the pooch.
While they WERE whackjobs (the Davidians, I mean, not the ATF, although there is some doubt about the ATF as well) there is no real evidence that the Davidians kids were anything but loved and cared for like normal kids.
And apparently they not only had a guy on the inside who knew this, but they had plenty of opportunity to arrest Koresh in broad daylight anytime in the previous month.
Good parody. It’s like 40 years ago today and I’m reading MAD magazine.
Yes, the Branch Davidians were a bunch of gun owning religious whackjobs. The First and Second Amendments to the United States Constitution clearly protects the rights of any United States citizen to be a gun-owning Bible thumping whackjob.
As P.J. O’Rourke says “So they were religious nuts with guns. This country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who do they think stepped ashore at Plymouth Rock? Peace Corps volunteers?”
B,
Apparently the locals were (rather casually) investigating the Davidians because some of Koresh’s… er, “brides”, fell into the category of statutory rape, which somehow got morphed into the whole “child abuse” thing that was…
…you know, this is maybe the only time in her career I felt sorry for Janet Reno. The ink was barely dry on her AG paperwork when the guys on scene who wanted to ignore the recommendations of the negotiators and push a conclusions very calculatedly put the “child abuse” allegations in front of Reno, knowing that in her prosecutor days that child abuse was her hot button issue.
Up to that point she had been in favor of letting the negotiators continue negotiating, and she got manipulated professionally, and then the Clinton administration wouldn’t even let her throw herself on that grenade like she tried to do.
She got conned, and then prevented from doing the one really noble thing she tried to do in her career, and that’s sad even for someone I otherwise loathe.
As I recall the story, BATFE was about to take a budget cut, gutting its brand spanking new Assault team. They needed to make a headline to show their worth.
This then kicked off the nation-wide “Militia scare” and resulted in more funding for the FBI to infiltrate those organizations.
The product of that was the Hutaree arrests after a two year undersover sting that resulted in a handful of arrests and keeping two people locked up for several years without a prosecution and finally be released. Nothing. But I ramble.
Hey! Anyone want to be a millionare?
There’s also this version:
“Tin Soldiers and Clinton’s Coming.
We’re finally on our own.
This Spring I hear the Drumming,
Seventy- Six Dead in Waco…”
“there is no real evidence that the Davidians kids were anything but loved and cared for like normal kids.”
Koresh wrote in his journals about how, when he slept with the 13-year-old daughters of his followers, their hearts would beat like “scared rabbits”. Every other consideration aside, it was not a healthy environment for children.