I am in posession of, as far as I can determine,
seventeen hojillion tapemeasures.
None of which can be found within a hundred feet of where I sit right now. I will go to Horror Freight and purchase two more in a few minutes, one to use, and one to add to the cache of the ones I have stashed away somewhere. For as soon as i HAVE a TAPEMEASURE IN MY HAND, the balance of them will appear as if on cue.
22 comments Og | Uncategorized
I am that way with paint rollers and caulking guns.
I own 2,484,387.4 of each.
I just had the bitch scramble finding a caulking gun here.
It’s like Quantum Mechanics.
If you look for them, they won’t be there.
I think a few of yours are in MY toolbox.
There are a few I can’t figure out who they belong to.
But if I look in there, they’ll be gone.
Do you have a magic drawer? I have one. If I need a phillips screwdriver, it’s full of slotted. if I need slotted, it’s full of phillips.
Floors of the house.
Downstairs? Need a wrench? The set is upstairs. And vice-versa.
M
Most of my tape measures are safety yellow. You would think they would stand out. Utility knives are another item I have many or that are never around when I need one.
I have an un counted number of Stanley Lever locks around the homestead. Range in length from 12 to 25 feet. All yellow and all have the lower lock that I grew to love on all things a lufkin. Had one of those for years and never lost it. Till it got crushed.
Anyway, I now have stock in Stanley as I have enough of their tapes to stock a decent hardware store.
The H.F. sale flyer in the latest Machinist’s Workshop has a 1″ X 25′ tape measure for free w/purchase.
A few years ago, I couldn’t find my caulking gun; looked and looked. So, I bought 2 or 3 more at the scrapyard, used goods store, etc. and put one in each spot where I might look. Should be able to find ONE if/when I need it.
A couple of years ago when Klein changed there 10 in 1 screw drivers to 11 in 1, H.D. had a close out on the 10 in 1’s (under $4 each) so I picked up a bunch.
Gave a couple away and have the rest placed in the many spots where I used to look for screwdrivers that were not there.
I also have somewhere between 4 and 6 tape measures in hiding.
I have the same magic drawer. It ensures that when I want a 1/2″ wrench, I get nothing but 9/16″–and vice-versa.
Most folks have Snap-On, Crafstman, Proto or other fine tools.
Seems what we have in common is Tools by Schrodenger. They’re snug in the toolbox until we try to observe and use them, at which time quantum Poplular Mechanichs kicks in, and renders them invisible.
Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX
Tape measures
Flashlights
Pens/Pencils
All use the magic drawer as a portal between realities.
One of these days I’m going to dress up as a flashlight and cross that boundary just to see their world.
I’ll be sure to take pictures and tell you all about it is I make it back.
I wonder if it’s the same plane reality that socks go to from the dryer?
BGM
“I’ll be sure to take pictures and tell you all about it is I make it back.”
You won’t find the camera.
So THAT’s where my tape measures got off to!
It’s a conspiracy created by the Stanley Company, them bastids.
Jenny
This is why we can’t have nice things.
I’ve decided that I’m going to make 5 tool kits for our cars house and garage (we have 3 cars). All of the tools I need are always somewhere else,from where I am… Yes, I have a drawere full of screwdrivers…The same drawer is full of the other type of driver I need. Now that God invented square drive, I’ve got a bunch of (two sizes of) square drive bits for my (5) electric screwdrivers. Yes they are in that same drawer with the other type screwdrivers. I agree with Jenny, It’s a conspiracy.
That’s why nice things cost 3 times as much in money and time as they should.
Rich in NC
PS I’ve got 5 sink wrenches, and I know where three of them are. I haven’t fixed a sink in 20 years.
Proof positive that that little bastard Murphy *does* exist..
Four-way screwdrivers here. I must have a dozen of them around, but never one in the same time zone when I need one.
Same problem with tape measures. As soon as I don’t need it anymore, three or four of them show up.
HAH! Caught one of the bastards on my desk just now. Heh.
Solution.
Place a small Bummer sticker on any one of the many tools you misplace.
You will so hate seeing it, you will put it away where you don’t see it — but you will recall where it is.
When you can’t find the others you will dig him out — and put him to work for a change.
Can you write hojillion in scientific notation, please?
Sure!
ETA: Oh, you wanted to SEE it. OK, thats 1×10OMG!
L-ing my A off!