You people!!!
Look, you tards. It snows here. it has snowed here, in northern indiana, since the GODDAMNED JURRASSIC ERA. There have never BEEN any winters without snow in the past forty six years. I know this because I LIVE HERE TOO.
So WHY is it that you FORGET HOW TO DRIVE in the snow EVERY SINGLE YEAR? Here’s a couple of clues for you:
1: Doing 90 on ice is a recipe for disaster. Especially if you are eatging a cheeseburger and talking on the phone while shifting and text messaging your lover/tennis pro.
2: Four Whel drive is not immunity from the laws of gravity, inertia, etc.
3: A Lexus, Benz, Infiniti, Hummer, whatever, is also not immune from the abovementioned laws.
4: Those cool ads you see with those expensive volvos and audi’s doing crazy stunts on ice? Professional drivers on closed courses. Not you. Don’t try that shit, because you don’t have a clue what you’re doing.
5:The guy in the beat up old truck ahead of you? he doesn’t care. If you pass him, then cut him off, you’ll slide on the ice. And he’ll run you over. And he doesn’t care, because if you total his truck, he’s out $75. You will end up dead. Don’t press your luck. It isn’t the guy in the new Beemer who should scare you, he wants to keep his car nice.
Carry on.
Good lord.
I live in the ‘burbs of Seattle, the 4wd capitol of the world.
Every time eighteen snowflakes hit the ground 7500 high end 4wd’s end up upside down on the on and off ramps of the freeways around here. Most have high end college and university alumni stickers in the windows.
How some of these obviously collitch ejumakated twits get out of bed without strangling themselves in their bedsheets is a total mystery to me.
Yup, “stupid” people with beater cars seem to get around ok. For every one rusty Oldsmobile Cutlass I’ve seen in a ditch or up in the dead roach position roadside, I’ve seen dozens of SUV’s. Something about the idea of “high center of gravity” never hit these people. As much as I want to blame the salesmen (and the automakers they work for) for pitching these vehicles as invincible, I still blame the dummy driver who should’ve realized that Warner Bros. cartoon laws of physics and real laws of physics are not the same. And since they’re wrecking insanely expensive SUV’s, up go your insurance rates.
There are two types of wipeouts/slideouts. Some, like on rural two-lanes with a parallel ditch and no trees to block crosswinds, you can say, “yeah, I can see where his luck just ran out.” Then, there’s the other type, most often accomplished by the SUV. The “how did (s)he end up over there, like that?” You know, the “one wheel over the Jersey barrier” relazed pose, the SUV that jumped the ditch to land in the grass beyond it, the “across opposing traffic scramble” to the far ditch, etc.
The ultimate driving machine sits behind the wheel. If you believe a blue-and-white logo makes you a better — or even adequate — driver, turn in your license.
GFD
I love #2. I remember the ice storm of ’94–the worst to hit Middle Tennessee in 50 years. I’m enjoying the spectacle of 4WDs in all sorts of positions; in the median, the ditch, the damned TREES–as I tool by at a sedate 25 mph. All this in a 300HP hot-rod Chevy Caprice, properly driven.
Yes, some Southerners can drive in snow. We’re just not the 90% who think they can.
Hey og-
Just stumbled over here after reading your comment on “Toys in the Attic”. Funny schtuff.
ANYway, here in NH we have the same drivers, evidently. Long term memory of last wintah (that’s how we say it heah) is lost in the short term memory of how good this SUV goes in the snow.
Dumb bastards.
Take care & stay well armed…
I was JUST going to ask if this was the first snowstorm of the season.
They ***ALL*** come out of the woodwork for the first snowstorm of the season.
Most fun I had in the winter was driving a 1984 Toyota van around in several blizzards. It’s a lot less stressful when:
a. You paid a little over $500 cash for your car
b. Since you’ve already replaced ~ 98% of the (rotted) sheet metal with Bondo™ and still have 4 gallons of Bondo™ left in the 10 gallon bucket, any and all body repairs you might need from sliding off the road into a ditch can be accomplished with fiberglass patch and a trowel; and
c. The vehicle, since it *is* 98% Bondo™, weighs approximately 9,000,000 pounds and therefore isn’t leaving the road without an act of GOD or Kenworth…
oooh, bondo. Yeah, I had a LOT of cars like that.
Yeah, baby, first snow on the ground here in the DC area. Most of folks here seem to have difficulty driving smart when the roads are dry. They still haven’t figured out that when you drive on snow, you would do well to SLOW DOWN!!!
I’ve watched cars go by in the left lane at 70mph when there is a good inch of snow on the roadbed. I just try to hang out in the slow lane at 25-30…