Well…
I put on a stiffly starched pastel yellow shirt, and my black pinstriped suit, and a nice tie. I polished up my shoes and put my dress knife in my pocket.
I got a haircut thursday and I stropped up the razor and scraped the face clean.
The Ogwife also dressed appropriately, she always does. We drove the hour and change to pay our respects to the daughter of my co-worker.
The co-worker in question is an old timer, but not so old as he should have been required to bury his own child. He has had some real struggle in his life, and this is a monumental blow, you can see it in his eyes. The pain of it hasn’t hit him fully, and what he has experienced is wrecking him now.
What do you say? How do you console someone who has had their world torn apart like this?
I don’t know. Prayer is what I have.
12 comments Og | Uncategorized
It’s starting, Og: that phase of your life when you have to ger that suit out far too often.
What do you do? You, sir, can WRITE. Offer to write a eulogy if the aggreived one is not handy with words. Or offer a small vignette (“I remember when…”) in your sympathy card.
…and use the spell check…
Dog: re suit- yeah. Re writing: high praise. Thanks.
RiverDog is pretty square on the mark. I do not want to see the day that I need to bury one of my children. I cannot fully imagine the grief that is done. My only prayer is they go to a better place.
Og,
Unless you have lost a child, Please don’t allow the words,”I know how you feel” fall from your lips.
Trust me on this one, nobody who hasn’t lived through that has any idea of how that feels, and I pray you never learn
I lost my son nine years ago when he was 27. The pain and sense of loss is unimaginable.
Nearly anything you say will be welcome, simply being there and saying something is a benefit hard to describe. It does help to ease the pain and will be remembered and deeply appreciated for a long time.
Dennis: Sage advice, and trust me, I appreciate it- And it should go without saying, to anyone with any level of sensitivity. Unfortunately, as you have probably noted- it’s worth repeating.
Gerry: We have made sure Co worker knows. And we will continue to keep him in our thoughts and prayers- and continue to stay in touch.
Og, as you know, Iris’ son passed this last April, at the age of 33.
I’ve lived near every moment of her pain by her side. And even then, I can’t fathom it’s depths. It is simply not possible to do so.
The only thing you can do, is what you’re doing. Just be there. Be there when he really wouldn’t be expecting you to be there, but be there.
Might only be over the phone, in a text or e mail. But make sure he knows, you are.
Prayerfully yours,
Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX
My sister lost three of her children over a very short length of time. There really id nothing you can say. As was said before, just be available to him. If you don’t hear from him in a reasonable length of time, you’ll have to gauge that, get in touch with him. Take him to lunch, or maybe hunting or fishing. Give him an opening and see if he takes it. I’ll add him to my prayers.
Make a note to contact him this time next year. The one year anniversary is hard.
“I am sorry for your loss.”
And later on, “I was thinking of you and your family … is there anything I can do?”
Jenny
If you can figure what to say, let me know. Because I never have.