Well
my semiannual encounter with the medical profession has passed, and it seems that I am ok on top (Dentist, yesterday) and OK in the middle- at least until they get the bloodwork back- but they want to jam something up my keister- though, thankfully, not to subsequently break it off like so many others have done. I do not have the unreasoning fear that others do about having something inserted in their ass. I’m confident I’m not going to enjoy it, or become gay, nor do I expect it to be horrid. If you examine some of the cable I’ve laid over my career- some of it was actually unflushable- a 1/2″ diameter camera isn’t that big a damned deal.
So that’s on my horizon- and though I wish I could get it over with right off, I doubt I’ll be able to prior to the end of the year. So “Happy new year! Spread ’em!”.
15 comments Og | Uncategorized
Even though I carry on about “going where no man has gone before,” what really bothers me about the whole procedure is the “cleansing” part.
I’m due for my second reaming. Gonna wait till spring, though. I like to froze to death the first time during the Great Purge. I just could not stay warm with all that Gatorade in my system.
Tip: have the doc use a baby endoscope. That scope can make very tight turns. Turning radius fail is the reason the scope jockey has to use so much gas, which is what causes the cramping. Better turning radius = less gas = less pain. You can then do without the sedative, which means you are going home in minutes after the snake is out. It should slso mean about $1500 less bill, since you are leaving out the whole anesthesia and recovery room bits.
Good tip there river. I know when I had my gall bladder out the gas from that procedure took several painful days to dissipate.
Interesting. Since farting is my hobby I might or might not enjoy the extra gas.
The Doctors must get a pretty good profit margin from the colonoscopy. They all recommend them for everyone. I’ll get one at 60. I had one at 30 and there wasn’t much to look at. But anyone who has seen the inside of their own colon knows that there isn’t 15 pounds of rotting beef stuck in there. The only thing in there is what you had for dinner yesterday, and it isn’t hanging around much longer either.
I’m sure there is profit in it. I think their motivation is part that and part statistics. Statistically you’re much more likely to die from colon cancer if you don’t treat early on.
I figure the stuff I eat likely fries anything out, but imna probably do it anyway.
You can really save money on this by buying a utility camara at COSTCO for about $150 and doing it yourself, in the comfort of your own home. Then you get to keep the camera too.
I already have the camera. Just can’t convince the wife to jam it up my ass.
Snort.
Mine gets squeamish on lancing butt boils. I don’t know what kind of response I would get if I offered her that opportunity.
I know several people who had that first colonoscopy at age 50 and they found cancer; in at least one of those cases it was severe enough that she wound up having a colostomy for about a year. But she’s cancer free today. If she hadn’t had that nondiagnostic had it because she turned 50 colonoscopy she would be dead now.
I know several other people who have had checkup colonoscopies with cancerous or precancerous results — including one in my own family. She was seen by a gastroenterologist just a year ago and she was fine; she had grown polyps in that year. One of them was cancerous. Colonoscopy removed that threat. They’ll check her more often going forward.
So yeah, colonoscopy saves lives. It’s not just a shuck to extract money from your wallet.
If you think having one is unmanly, it’s much more undignified to have to poop in a bag.
And Og? You might like farting but the gas also causes ferocious cramps. You might not want to sign up for that part of it.
Dr. Oz went through his colonoscopy with no anesthesia; it seems to be a macho MD kind of thing to do. (Plus he had work to do and could just go see patients as soon as the procedure was over.)
http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/dr-oz-highlights-the-importance-of-following-bowel-preparation-instructions-before-colonoscopy-123095848.html
http://www.doctoroz.com/colonoscopy-videos/dr-ozs-colonoscopy-pt-1
jenny
Yeah, the prep IS worse than the actual procedure… And the farts ARE memorable… ;-D
I’ve had five of them, never had anything for pain. Discovered the baby endoscope thing on my first one after having 35% of my colon removed due to a blowout caused by diverticulitis. When the surgeon put my colon back together minus the bad part, he made some sort of bypass in there that a normal endoscope can’t negotiate. The next scope driver was surprised by that, pulled out and re-reamed me with the small snake. Huge difference. Almost can’t feel it at all.
Yeah, I had my gall bladder out about a year ago. My mates were saying they wanted me try for the ‘most earth shattering fart’ with Guinness..
But ohh I could have done without the cramps.
The procedure was nothing when I had it; got to sleep, wake up and it’s done. It was the evening/night BEFORE that sucked. I crapped more than I thought possible, and wound up sleeping on a cut-open trash bag because I was afraid I’d fart and found the bed.