Over here, prof. Hale, G-d love him, gets all up in everyone’s face about the four rules. He’s all upset because his military training and his asbergers convince him that the rules are “LIES!!!!! ALL LIES!!!” of course those of us without extensive military lobotomizing training or, as I said, asbergers, understand that the four rules are a set of guidelines for safe gun handling that work quite reliably- often, as a substitute for the common sense that is so dramatically uncommon.

The military mind, of course, is not like the human mind, and must be given specific instructions that detail things like- oh, how to operate the safety catch.

“This is the safety-catch, which is always released
With an easy flick of the thumb. And please do not let me
See anyone using his finger. You can do it quite easy
If you have any strength in your thumb.”*

Since the four rules do not have any mention of safety catches and how to use the thumb or which thumb to use, or how an unloaded gun can be metaphorically loaded and unloaded at the same time, they do not compute.

It is extremely confusing to people- especially humorless people, that there can be reason that includes metaphor. Anything that isn’t 100% provably demonstrably true in facts and numbers you can hold in your hand and look at is therefore a lie. it has to be horrible to live like that, because it removes so much of the enjoyment from life. but there are people who are so afflicted, and one such is our dear Professor Hale. yes, the same mind that brought us “Og not boss! Man in corner, he yell at Hale. he Hale’s boss! OG NOT BOSS!” is now all “YOU LYING LIARS! GUN NOT LOADED! I SEE GUN! GUN NOT LOADED! YOU LIE!!!” missing, of course, the entire point.

yes, For normal people, metaphors are plenty. And of course, the four rules are guidelines, and they are meant to be metaphorical guidelines that teach safe handling practice, and even among the very young and the very feebleminded, they have been helping to keep gun handling safer for many a year. Hale acts as though he’s the visionary guy who is the first person to challenge the wisdom of the four rules, but of course he is about as visionary in this as someone starting a porn website on the internet in 2014.

here’s a great example of someone looking at the four rules, and then there is Michael Bane eviscerating him. (Nicely, of course; I have never met him but I am told Mr Bane is a consummate gentleman)

Money quotes:

The 4 rules are simple because the risk of mishandling firearms is great…that’s a simple truth. Whenever we deal in risky business, the rules need to be short and sweet…there are 3 rules in cave diving, and they are so simple they could be taught to Alf the Wonder Beagle.

The 4 rules aren’t specifically literal truth; they are, rather, a state of mind, and one that has worked amazingly well over the history of practical shooting.

Anyway, lacking anything else on which to base his hatred for this simple and functional system, hale retorts with

“If you are the sort of person who needs 4 short easy to remember rules when it comes to guns, then you are too stupid to own guns except as the curator of a museum.”

Well, I could easily respond with ‘if you are the sort of person who doesn’t understand that the person paying for the work is ultimately the employer and the person performing the work is the employee, you are too stupid to be in any position that is taxpayer funded” but of course most people in taxpayer funded positions hold the same (Incorrect) opinion as Hale.

Then he gets all butthurt because people call him on this silliness and cracks thusly:

“The four rules church is the other side of the Bradey coin. The same goal. “You shouldn’t have guns because you aren’t smart enough”. Instead of “you shouldnt have guns because only criminals want guns”. I knew you by the stench of your allies.”

Wow, really? the only person here suggesting certain people shouldn’t have guns, hale, is you. And UNLIKE “bradey” and his ilk, the four rules are completely voluntary, are not part of any law in the legal system, and anyone can break them at any time for any reason, only emperiling himself and those around him when they do.

Jeff Cooper may not have been perfect, but he was OK. Michael Bane may not be perfect, but he certainly has a good reputation in the community. One way or another, I will take advice from professional people who actually make their living doing the thing in question- i.e. handling firearms- over armchair quarterbacks who don’t like it because it isn’t spelled out to suit their tastes.

Sometimes, as I told Hale, when everyone holds one opinion and one person holds another opinion, it is because they are a visionary, like Columbus or Edison or Eminem.

Most of the time, though, it’s because they’re a dumbass. And Hale, I love you like a brother, and because I love you, I’m telling you you’re being a dumbass. This is evidenced by him going over to Cappy’s place, seeking approval for his silliness by sucking up to Cappy.

“I long ago recognized that lots of people are wedded to their positions, whether it is religion, customs, political, and all the combinations and permutations. They are not capable to changing and beating them up for it is just cruel.

Really smart people recognize the patterns they see in life, as you have done. But most people just aren’t that smart, despite being totally convinced that they are. “

Really stupid people also think of themselves as really smart. it is no surprise that a lot of those really stupid people who think themselves really smart are somehow involved with the federal government.

*With apologies to Henry Reed