As any guy my size knows, a normal innerspring mattress crashes and burns very quickly under any stress. Even so called “premium” mattresses are pretty incapable of withstanding the pummeling of a fat bastard.

So, I think, we’ll look into one of those Select Comfort things. Me, now, I’ve slept soundly on a gravel driveway. I can sleep pretty much anywhere, and I don’t need any comfort to do it. Hell, I’ve slept standing up next to a blast furnace going full bore, with fire all around me.

What they sell you on, on the Select comfort, is that you and your bride can have individually adjustable sleep cells. And that is so true. Mine is usually set around 70, the Ogwife around -94. Which means that I’m sleeping on the edge of a cliff. It isn’t that it stops me from sleeping, because when I’m ready to sleep, nothing can do that, but I’ll find myself rolling downhill towards the Ogwife just because I tried to roll over. It brings back memories of when she was pregnant for the oglet; we had a full-grown border collie, Retardo the cat, and myself and the ogwife in a full sized bed. If I wanted to turn over, I had to get out of bed and get back in on the other side.

Nope, the select comfort is a fine bed, as long as you and the bride (or groom) are about the same size- god help you if there’s any disparity.