Woke up in a panic yesterday morning mostly due to the coricidin I took last night to get some sleep- I have zero tolerance for most of that crap but I needed the sleep. As it was, stiffness and soreness exacerbated my paranoia, until I finally became so tired, I thought, fuckit, I’m going to die or I’m not, so I laid down to get some sleep. A grumbling ensued that sounded- literally- like two angry cats in a pillowcase. The pressure on my diaphragm that I had been sure was a sign of an impending grabber began to recede, and the growling and gurgling accelerated apace.

And I ripped off the longest fart in memory. I mean, it wasn’t a big boomer, my shit/fart detector circuits were on full alert,so I just let it sneak out, but it lasted what, for me, is a record: I rolled over and watched the clock, and I farted continuously for 3 minutes and 42 seconds.

And then I had to get up and leave the room.

Eventually, the evil dissipated, but whatever the combination of nastiness was that caused this, better out than in. Oy. Hope this morning goes better.