It comes as no surprise
to anyone who knows me that I have gotten grouchier as I have aged, and I seem to be reaching some vertical asymptote, beyond which even my grouchiness cannot prevail.
Because of this I value my friends all the more, because they understand my grouchiness and accomodate it.
Meanwhile, I am beset on all sides by the rankest most amateurish stupid that money can buy. Yesterday I was given notice that I had to fill out the Gallup strengths profiler. To anyone who has not had this as part of their flavor of the month (We’ve done it all, lean manufacturing, ISO, yadda yadda) it’s a sort of a microcosm of the old Minnesota Multiphasic. Which I’ve taken so many times it’s not funny.
Tsk. Clarice, do you think you can dissect me with this blunt little tool?
Anyway, I filled out the questionaire and broke it. It couldn’t figure out what to do with my answers, and suggested I take the test again. I passed the info on to my boss, as requested, and he suggested I try again. I explained to him that I would give the exact same answers and get the exact same results, and I was done playing silly games. He forwarded the results message to HR, who called me and suggested I try again, and I explained to him that there was no way I would answer a single question differently, and he sent me onto ANOTHER HR person, and that person wanted to know if I was sure I had given the best answers I could, and I asked him what answers he would like me to give, and I would be pleased to give them. A shitstorm of stupid ensued, and then I got the “Annual review” form, (Which of course relies on the data from the test that I broke). I filled that out to the best of my ability, and I expect another shitstorm about that tomorrow.
I have never been dishonest about a damned thing there, and I am constantly amazed that nobody has a fucking clue what to do with the truth.
13 comments Og | Uncategorized
I am conflicted about ISIS. On the one hand, they are blood thirsty savages who need to be put to the sword. On the other hand, they would stone to death 99% of the demographics which make up most HR departments. That makes me smile.
The last time I was n the army, they had gotten that stupid about a lot of things. For me to take leave from the pentagon, it took filling out one forms, which mostly just had my name and dates of leave on it. But at Fort Riley to take leave I had to fill out 15 pages of forms including a trip plan and a mental health assessment. For each time you answered “yes” on a question, a more senior person was required to personally interview you. After i checked 9 blocks, I was expecting them to exhume Eisenhower to interview me. But they deomnstrated it was all for show when i didn’t even get called by the post commander. Everyone else on my team then told me that the typical Army response was to lie on teh form and check yes to everything no matter what the truth was.
As a consultant, I have to fill out a timesheet for my consulting company, and I also punch in and out on the client timekeeping system. The two reports must match, or the world will come to an end, dogs and cats will sleep together, chaos.
So every month I have to e-mail my manager both client and company time reports. The client is no problem, it’s a PDF for each week, but the company report must be signed by me. So I generate the report, which is e-mailed to me. I then print it, sign it, scan the signed copy and e-mail it to myself. I then save the attachment with the proper PDF file name and email it to my manager. Who then prints it so SHE can sign it. Suggestions that perhaps we should just give HER the signed paper timesheet fall on deaf ears.
I keep hearing that it’s human intelligence that put us at the top of the food chain, but if that’s the case I wonder how so many people managed to BREED.
We had a company wide meeting at the BIG Company to say we were not serving the customer and our customer satisfaction number was unacceptable.
I had to arrange a meeting between .gov and corporate drones to be publicly flayed.
Dot Gov came to meeting and said he was very happy with us but was quite PO’d at all the bone head stuff coming from corporate that made his life more difficult.
Post meeting it was decided it was still our fault for reasons that were never explained.
So happy to be gone from there.
Wow. Wonder how you broke it.
We did the Gallup Strengths Finder at my employer late last year. I was honest and my results fit me well (understanding that it’s kinda like a horoscope after all).
Overall it was a positive experience for the team.
Interestingly enough the Gallup results fit well with my Myres-Briggs results from nearly two decades ago.
I know exactly how i broke it. It gives you a range for each question- like “im very easygoing” vs ” i prefer being in control”. In the middle was “neutral”. Neutral was closest to my optimal answer. See, Neutral has an N, and so does “none of your fucking business”
Sounds pointless to take such a test after they have hired you to perform a function and you demonstrated you can do that function.
The new management has decided to manage by spreadsheet.
Egad, this without question fits with my understanding of where the world is headed. The inflictors are beyond help because they thing they own the (new) moral high ground. In that there is no neutral, and hence they fear your answers.
Very much to the point: I don’t need to see their results to know — the inflictors themselves had all checked the very much in control boxes. And now along comes you; not providing them enough handles. They now feel very much out of control and have gotten antsy.
Bottom line for them: Either you are lying or you have proved that they did. :)
I think you hit the nail on the head P.
HR personnel fall into 2 categories;
1) Those needed to keep the corporation from being sued/fined by employees, city, state, or federal entities.
2) Damn Fool Idiots who can’t be trusted with real jobs but would sue your ass off if you tried to fire them. See 1).
“manage by spreadsheet.” You’re screwed… And yeah, neutral flips them out…