“So the stage manager/director is gay, and he has all the girls wearing TONS of glitter onstage. It’s on and in everything, and the whole auditorium looks like someone was skeet shooting faeries”
“Not the stage manager, I hope”
“No, he’s not even remotely sparkly.”

Later: “Damn, Dad, you’re right, Wrigleyville IS Boystown. I just saw a whole bunch of guys running with a lisp”