I’ve refrained from doing so to this point because of that whole eighth circle thing, (for those unfamiliar with Dante, the eighth circle of hell is divided into ten ditches, the eighth of which is reserved for fraudulent counselors. This circle is where Jim Jones, Calvin, Brigham Young, and Joe Smith reside)(among others) Anyway, the point is, there’s so much BS floating around, The Time Has Officially Come.

So here you go:

The Church of God the “what were you thinking?”

yes, the Church of God the What Were You Thinking? will be the One True Church.

Anyone is welcome. Christians, Buddhists, Muslims.

Anytime anyone says “I’m a Christian, and I believe that God wants me to kill Jews” the entire congregation will line up and say “what were you thinking?” and then bitchslap that person, and continue to do so, until that person is disavowed of that ridiculous notion. Anytime a Muslim says “Allah tells me to kill the infidel” the congregation lines up. Anytime a Mormon says “THe Lord told me I should have four wives” same thing. (Actually, I think the four wives would be punishment enough, which is why polygamy is no longer widely practiced.) Anytime a Scientologist says… well pretty much anytime a scientologist says anything, three, four hundred people line up, and each takes their turn saying “what were you thinking?”

Now, granted, we can’t go back like Mormons and rebaptize our ancesters, (Smack! What were you thinking?) so we can’t tackle the likes of Torquemada. Herod. Sarah. Mahomet. We CAN deal with the idiots we have now. This would apply to people outside the Church of God the What were you THINKING as well, because whenever someone starts spouting crap like “all christians are evil because of something some idiot CALLING himself a christian did two hundred or five hundred or nine hundred years ago” we line up again. Anytime someone says “I know a muslim, and he’s peaceful, so the rest of them must be peaceful, and the religion must be OK” we form a queue.

I’m sure this will need a lot more clarification, but as usual, since I’m the one who started this, I get the ultimate say. Feel free to leave your own examples in the comments.