At an open house
Mr Customer: “How much does this machine weigh?”
me: “I really don’t know. I’m a robot guy, but I can get you someone who can tell you exactly how much”
Mr Customer:”Can’t you make a guess?”
Me: “If I guessed i’d just be doing that, and I’d rather get you the correct information, I really just don’t know”
Mr Customer:”Well, just take a guess”
me:” It’ll most certainly be wrong, so I’ll just go get X, and he’ll give you an accurate number”
Mr Customer:” Dammit, can’t you just answer a simple question? I’m not gonna hold you to it”
me:” Well, in my admittedly totally incapable opinion, i’d say around 13,000 lbs”
Mr Customer: “You’re wrong, it can’t possibly weigh that much”
me:”……”
Want to know thew kicker?
Mr Customer:” Your guy here says that machine weighs 13,000 lbs”
Machine salesman:”No, he’s wrong. That machine weighs 13,120 lbs”
Mr Customer:”….”
What the hell do you have to say to people to get them to believe you? About ANYTHING?
Good god.
23 comments Og | Uncategorized
wlcome to my life. “The customer is always right” is a load of crap.
OK, that warranted a backhand. I hope you gave him one or at least thought about it.
Well, ya know… The world is so full of morons that you’re bound to run into one of them once in a while.
M
it IS fucktard Friday.
Damn good guess I’d say.
Less than a percent. I thought it was pretty good too.
Welcome to my life with Mother every single damn day.
Wow – that was a great guess, I’m always way off on that sort of thing.
You should have said, “How much do YOU think it weighs?” And make him put it in words. *grin*
OTOH, considering his response after all that, he just wanted you to say something so he could tell you it was wrong. The jerkface.
I got to disagree. You should have smacked the salesman. He tried to make you look stupid so he could be so much more well-informed. Salesmen are the lowest life form, they’ll tell you anything just to get you to sign the paper: if they tell you the product is going to be green, tell them to write it in the contract.
As for “the customer”, my bet is he isn’t. At least not a new one.
What an ass. How did you keep from slapping him? I could never work in that type of job.
I’m confused as to why he wouldn’t let you get the accurate answer.
” Salesmen are the lowest life form, they’ll tell you anything just to get you to sign the paper: if they tell you the product is going to be green, tell them to write it in the contract.”
Blow me asshole. I am a salesman.
I’m sorry, dick, you’re right. I apologize.
But doesn’t this salesman speak like he has delusions of granduer?
Some salesman. Since everyone in this story seems to make Og look silly, let’s make it even and bust on the salesman and inquirer.
Dude: how much does it weigh?
Salesman: why, is it something that you can use in your business?
Dude: just tell me what it weighs.
Salesman: sure, but why are you asking? does your company own your factory, or do you rent? if you’re worried about your floor’s capacity, keep in mind that we can build out a platform to distribute the weight over a broader area, thereby reducing the stress on the floor. if we can make it work for you, would you be interested?
Dude: (seeing they’re no fun, walks away)
what kind of a dip of a salesman answers a straight question with a straight answer, and doesn’t spin it into an opening? that should get his license pulled on principle.
this customer and salesman are in the same league with a) the topper, and b) the advice giver. The advice giver isn’t the old hat you ask how to do something when you do it the first time, no, the advice giver is the one to chime in on better ways to do things you’ve done just fine 40,000 times. The topper is the guy who got 1 hour less sleep than you, worked 1 hour longer, caught a fish 1 inch longer, sat at a train with 1 more boxcar than your train, etc.
I’m sure Dante had these asshats in his day; I wonder why he made no hell circle for them.
Good burn, og.
And your patience is commendable.
Apology taken, thank you.
From the way it was written, it sounded like the salesman might have had an inkling to what was going on and was having a bit of fun at the customer’s expense.
Girls! Put the claws away.
Dude, the salesman in question is a friend, and he said what he said specifically to show Mr Customer that I was correct, or very nearly so.
THe customer is a known dick. Everyone got a kick out of the salesman leaving Mr Customer speechless. And I felt vindicated by the salesman, and not insulted.
Dick, Dude is a contractor in the Chicago area, and regularly deals with typical mob-connected salespeople that make your average used car dealer look like a choirboy. Our mutual friend, Biloxi, is also a salesperson, and like Dude, a straight-up, no shit guy. Dude is a guy you want to have your back in a fight. As, Dick, I’m sure you are.
I work in an industry where you have a lot of really decent salespeople and a few total nutjobs. I’m not gonna defend the nutjobs, but the rest, as I said abotu Biloxi, and I’m sure is also true of you, Dick, are good guys going a tough job.
Thanks Og –
Dude is a straight up guy and is understandably jaded. His immediate apology showed his stand up character. Og and I are in the same industry though different aspects of it and deal with asshats daily. I think anybody can respect the good and band in everything. Let’s face it, there are as many assholes on our side as the opposite. Dick, we’ve got to have a beer together with Dude if you make the blogmeet.I’ll be the guy in the Herb Tarlek Jacket! Heyyyyy Big guy!
I think you should’ve answered in your best “Rain Man” voice, “About 100 pounds”. :-)
I can’t believe I wrote ‘salesmen are the lowest life form’. When I wrote it, I was thinking of the salesman that sold a customer a new gargage, back when I was pouring the concrete, and after it was torn down they found out that they couldn’t build a frame garage. In that area, garages must be brick. So I framed the forms for the concrete only to have the inspector red flag the whole job.
Was the salesman responsible for knowing the ordinances in the village he was selling? Let me tell you, I was pissed.
I also had a salesman sell me a truck when I was 23. I will never forgive that rat for gouging me. He even wanted $20.00 for insurance for me to drive home… with the $2.00 worth of gas in the dual tanks. I damn near didn’t make it.
On the other hand, my father was/is a salesman. He is retired now, but I can recall almost verbatum Zig Zigler. “When I was a boy, I was a teller, I told people to move when I swept the floor.” My father could sell ice to an eskimo. But that was the point I was trying to make. Salesmen try to show how great a product is and they forget the downside. That’s their job. They must know their product inside and out, and that is why they try to be the smartest person in the room. Once they have established themselves as the authority on the subject, they have you begging to buy whatever it is. Any salesman knows, once you show the product you must do two things, first shut up. Let the prospect speak first after you ask for the sale. Next, if there is any opposition from the prospect, you start to take it away from him. The more you take away, the more he wants it.
Don’t we all try to build up what we are selling and denegrate the opposition? Without salesmen we would never know about new products.
I must say, I used poor judgement. My mind immediately went to the bad, and glossed over the good they do.
Again, I was wrong. I really must learn not to post after beer.
Dude, go have another beer. I know what you meant. I think Dick did too, once you pologized. Takes a big man to pologize like that, and you[‘re a big man.
Well, that’s what I hear, anyway.
Don’t sweat it. I shoot my foot off at least once a week.
Oh honestly. What a moron. :p