Crapropractor blogging
So on or about the first of July, I fuck up my back. Not a big fuckup, mind you, just lifted something I shouldn’t have.
THe downside of this has been a couple of weeks of pain. The further downside has been that at, for instance, the Ogmeet, I wasn’t able to enjoy myself as much as I could have, as i was in constant pain. I also spent some evenings this week overdoing it, so that as of last night, percocet was the only thing that would let me sleep.
So today I break away from a conference call at work to visit my chiropracter, and she turned me inside out, hit my spleen with a hammer a couple times, played the xylophone on my ribcage for a while, and then zapped me with electromassage and ultrasound. And as I was walking out of her office, I found I had to hit the can. Hard.
I used the john at the office complex. I used the john at the corner gas station, I used the john at the Dunkin Donuts. I used the john at the Home Depot. I used the john at the Menards. I used the john at the Walgreens. I shat more in that trip home than I’ve shit in a week. It’s as if the back pain was shutting off the urge to shit, and the spinal adjustment turned it back on. Whatever the case, I cannot now stand outside in a stiff wind, because I’m so empty I reverberate lie a bell. If I had anything else to let go of, I would, but I shit things I hadn’t ever eaten. (Circus peanuts? I’ve never even HAD circus peanuts!) I don’t know if this is normal, but I know I’m not, so I’m not concerned.
12 comments Og | Uncategorized

Hmmmm.
So now you’re NOT full of s***?
We shall see… ;)
Heh.
Honestly, I hope you feel better, bro.
And Contagion wants to go shooting sometime in the near future.
Contagion is on, anytime. We just need to make it happen.
It could be worse Ogman.
When ya hit your 40’s, part of the routine check up is getting the rubber glove up the bung treatment! I just got back from my routine check-up, and it was a total embarassment start to finish.
As a courtesy to the doctor, I made sure I scrubbed my bore out cleaner than a green bean marine’s M-16. My butt was so clean you could eat off of it!
So I go into the doctor, get my blood pressure taken, bumped and thumped and prodded and then the big moment comes: the doc lubes up, sticks his hand up my arse, feels around a bit and says my prostate is OK for now. Great! Glad that’s over with, sorry about the view….
So then he throws me a kleenex to wipe with, and the thing comes out of my arse covered in SHIT. WTF? I scrubbed my bore clean just this morning!!! How embarassing! I wasn’t even able to flush it like a gentleman, my dignity took another hit as I lamely threw it in the office garbage can. Lord have mercy on the janitors.
They should make machines that do this sort of thing.
Are you sure those weren’t your kidneys, Og? ;)
(yeah, I know, Circus Peanuts are not even half the size)
That got me thinking… I’ve never tried CPs either. And I guess I never will. Not after reading this ( http://www.bad-candy.com/candies/circuspeanuts ), although the experiments were rather amusing.
And, dang, Jim! Well, I don’t have a prostate, but I have a sigmoidoscopy/colonoscopy to look forward to one year soon so I’ll prolly have my own stories, I’m sure. Well, I guess my bore will be clean, though. They make ya drink a gallon of some shtuff, I hear. Oh, the joys of growing old.
Dammit, I wanna be a child again…and do child-like things. (Like have an ice cream cone! Only not in Japan! http://kurlander.blogspot.com/2006/07/this-photo-is-not-safe-for-work-or.html)
Damn, Mo, I thought I could find the wierd stuff.
Back troubles suck. My husband messes his up about once a year, and then he looks like the crooked man (who lived in the crooked house, at the end of the crooked road…) for a while.
The best thing about screwing up my back in late 2002 was the physical therapist I drew. *sigh* I didn’t MIND the pain at that point, and was sort of sorry when it finally went away.
I’ve been having regular prostate exams since I was about 32, so I’m an old hand (as it were). Somehow I ended up with a prostate infection back then. Doctor never did figure out how. Of course now I’m in my mid-40s so I’d be getting them anyway…
Back troubles will fuck up your ability to take a quality dump.
I was the recipient of not one, but two ruptured spinal discs back in 97.
When they give me trouble, I can’t drop trowel.
It’s medically proven.
I’m not even talking about the peanuts! Lmao!
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