Okay, lissenup
Over here, a couple of days ago, Mr Porretto gives what he admits, for him, is an unusual endorsement. He directs us to a friend of his who he refers to as “a devout Catholic”. by way of clarification, the lady in question (Fetiche) has some different attitudes about many things.
A gaping anus of monumental proportion sticks his nose in for the purpose of turning it up; that is to say, a fucktard extroardinaire takes issue with someone being “a devout Catholic” who does the things the individual in question suggests. I followed said asshole to his own website, and suggested that perhaps part of being a decent christian is not being judgemental. True to the form of an utter ass, he deleted my comment, and in so many words, made it clear that he had the RIGHT to be judgemental, because, as he says, if we don’t judge, we might as well be on all fours.
Well, assgasket, I have a few words for you, if you’re not too much of a coward to come here and learn a little.
There’s this guy, Jesus. On whom the whole of Christianity is based. Named after him, in fact. He had a friend, who, like Mr Porretto’s acquaintance, (and here I paraphrase, with the accompanying apologies to Mr P) is
single,
a devout Catholic;
a former prostitute; and
She loves sex and everything about it.
Yes, Mary Magdalene fell into those categories, but I suppose you, mr Felchweasel, know more than OUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST who enjoined us all to cast the first stone, if we were without sin.
No, you go on ahead and judge the lady in question, call her something less than the devout Catholic Mr P proclaims her to be, because YOU KNOW IN YOUR HEART (which is always right, because as we’ve established before, you know more than JESUS CHRIST) that she CANNOT BE a “Devout Catholic” because she acts in a way inconsistent with “the church’s magesterium”. Well, let me splain a little something to you, Lucy, for you clearly have an incredible case of rectro-cranial inversion:
YOU ARE A SINNER TOO, FUCKTARD. IF YOU ARE NOT, YOU MUST BE JESUS CHRIST. I EAGERLY AWAIT YOUR ATTACHMENT TO A LARGE CHUNK OF DOGWOOD.
Even if someone doesn’t follow the letter of “the church’s magesterium” (which, asshole, you might be interested in knowing, was developed by FLAWED HUMANS, MUCH LIKE YOURSELF)that NEITHER PRECLUDES NOR EXCLUDES THEM FROM THE BODY OF THE CHURCH NOR COMMUNION WITH IT. Maybe it’s not apparent to you that you need to drop the fucking stone. Pity, because YOU ARE THE CHRISTIAN EQUIVALENT OF THE FUCKING TALIBAN, YOU INTOLERANT ASSHOLE. YOU ARE THE REASON CHRISTIANS ARE TREATED WITH DISTASTE AND DISDAIN.
Now, I’m an asshole, and I know it. I always have been. I know a great deal about the Catholic Church, having walked it’s cloistered halls for six years. I am intimately familiar with the “Churches magisterium” and it’s bullshit. I have had some pretty good luck being a Christian, and by that I mean, trying hard to follow the actions and direction of Christ. While I still attend Catholic mass, I have an intimate distaste for the type of bullshit evidenced in this atitude: “He/she is a bad catholic/baptist/person because of X”. Let me assure you, from heavy personal experience, anyone who vocalizes disdain for anyone else because of “x” has some damned large skeletons in their own closet. So what is it, Oh, fucktardo the Magnificent, that gives YOU the right to be so judgemental? What skeleton are you hiding that is so horrid that you have to lash out at someone you only know through ten paragraphs of writing? I sure hope you don’t spend any time around decent humans, I’d hate to have such ignorance be transmitted to others.
Look people: Be anything you want to be. Don’t be a hypocrite. If there is a mortal sin, a flaw that will surely damn you to the seventh circle, it has to be that.
30 comments Og | Uncategorized

You said it all man. Worst thing about religion is religious people.
“Oh, fucktardo the Magnificent” Bwah!
Chew ’em up & spit ’em the fuck out, Og.
I try to be the best man I can. I’m not perfect. I’m an asshole, & I can be vicious. I don’t, however, try to claim I’m better than anybody else (I think I’m better than lots, but I don’t go around crowing about it). I might kill your ass if you push me, but I know I’ll never lie to you or steal from you. I ain’t perfect, but I’m honest.
Shooting’s too good for some people. Good job of reaming, bro.
Wow! What an absolutely breathtaking rant! I am absolutely jealous. It reminds me of the times I have “gone off” on Christian fundaments over the issues of evolution and geological time.
Briliant ::applauds::
Are you going to post when she repies?
Sadly there are all too many people who are ready and willing to be judge jury and executioner when they think you aren’t following the letter of the law in the Catholic Church. We’ve got a couple in our family and I’ve seen far too many in church. Their claim to being devout apparently doesn’t include being forgiving or letting God do the judging.
I got tired of the hypocrisy at all levels and I no longer have anything to do with the church. I figure that’s their place to preen and look important – I’ll just leave ’em to it.
I want to see exactly how long the comment I made at that guys site lasts.
So I’m guessing that this bloke isn’t on your Christmas card list. Americans can sometimes do a nice line in perjoratives. ‘Assgasket’ being a case in point. I’m going to use it and I’m going to claim the credit for it myself. (I have no morals.)
P.S. They used dogwood for the cross? Must be a different dogwood than we get around here – only gets to about eight inches through the trunk and you’d be lucky to find a straight bit four feet long.
Dirk: THe legend has it that the Dogwood was once a mightyu tree, as mighty as the cedars of lebanon, but after the crucifixion, the tree neevr grew large but was small and stunted, out of sheer shame.
Og, atheling2 is a woman, though that doesn’t make a damn bit of difference to your point…
She used to comment on my old blog; seems a bit too conventional, if ya know what I mean.
Anyway, just wanted to express my great admiration for your superb use of invective. It’s a priceless piece.
I think I’ll send Fetiche a little article and see if she uses it.
I love Mr. Porretto for posting her link. A few billion people seem to need to loosen up a little.
Asshattery knows no gender, Wahr. And thanks. Remind me to put you on the blogroll.
Og, my man, I’m not a Catholic but do consider myself a Christian. And as the son of a Christian Protestant preacher I have to tell you you’re right on. My pops might not have said it so eloquently (just teasing) but he would give you two thumbs up for shooting down a pious prick. Nothing worse than a self-righteous, supposedly righteous person. My dad’s distaste for that kind of ‘tude is so intense he won’t even let parishioners refer to him as “Rev. Burnett.” They can call him “pastor” or “preacher,” ’cause as he likes to remind ’em “There’s nothing ‘reverend’ about me. I’m just another guy.”
The chickenshit asshat erased my comment, and I didn’t even think it was that harsh.
Fortunately, I emailed to Og ealier and have a copy.
Here,
“”” From your sidebar:
“I’m a
Multicellular Microorganism
in the
TTLB Ecosystem”
I just heard about this story by a friend, decided I was bored, and read both sides to the story.
You do seem to be extremely judgemental of others, (to me anyway) while not allowing folks (by your deletion of their comments) the simple courtesy of stating their own opinions.
Unfortunately for you, with this sort of hate and intolerance, you will remain a “Multicellular Microorganism”.
Just a side note,
I do find it amusing that the “hard core” religious types are always the most unforgiving.
Personally, I think you missed your calling and would have made one hell of a good Jihadist.
Now be sure to delete this one.
dick | Homepage | 08.22.06 – 3:56 am | #””
He’s one of those punks that needs his ass handed to him.
Now I’m gonna have some fun.
I knew there was a reason I liked you.
I could be wrong, but doesn’t it say somewhere in the Bible “Judge not, lest ye be judged” or something like that?
Or maybe that was on Jerry Springer…
My point is, the only one who should really be judging when it comes to how “devout” a religious person is, is the man (or woman) upstairs. Anyone else is taking on the role of God, which I’m pretty sure is not looked favorably upon by Him/Her.
Y’all are the best.
So, other than that, you have no strong feelings either way?
::shite eating grin::
Nice job Ogmeister!
The basis for religion is great, but it’s amazing how humans can screw it up.
Nice rant, very “best of” worthy.
Beautiful, Og. Frickin’ beautiful.
Og, have I metioned that you rock, lately?
If not, here ya go:
You rock.
Well, let’s see how long it takes for that moron to ban me using this IP.
My comment I just left:
“Don’t forget to ban this IP address sparky.
I see words can hurt you, ahhhhhhh!
Don’t worry about me either, because there are plenty of Starbuck’s locations to go around, and you can’t ban them all. But, I’d like to see ya try, just for fun anyway.
How about I come by every night and scrutinize whatever you’ve written, then denounce you as a bad Christian?
By the way, you’re making a nice splash over at Og’s place. http://www.neanderpundit.com
Go read about yourself, and be sure to check out the comments.
I think about half the readers are defending you!
dick | Homepage | 08.22.06 – 3:20 pm | # ”
Yeah, I put in the defense crap to see if that jerkoff would come by, just to see how bad he’s being torched.
Couldn’t help it;)
Dick, you’re just devious. hehe!
Damn, it took the retard in question about a minute to delete that post. Guess you’ll have to find another starbucks.
Hate to nitpick you here, but there is no evidence Mary Magdalene was a prostitute. There was a story concerning a prostitute named Mary, but that was not Mary Magdalene. Mary was a common name even then.
There is some dissent among scholars, however, the accepted version is that Mary Magdalene is the woman brought forth by the pharisees to be stoned. Read her gospel for clarification. Still; that is a gnostic gospel and not her own accoutn, so I tend to distrust it as well. The point remains the same.
Accepted by who? Pope Gregory, maybe.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/features/biblemysteries/mary.shtml
“The whole story of Mary as a prostitute, who is fallen and redeemed, is a very powerful image of redemption a signal that no matter how low one has fallen, one can be redeemed.
Powerful as this image may be, it is not the story of Mary Magdalene. Mary Magdalene is mentioned in each of the four gospels in the New Testament, but not once does it mention that she was a prostitute or a sinner. At some point Mary Magdalene became confused with two other women in the Bible: Mary, the sister of Martha and the unnamed sinner from Luke’s gospel (7:36-50) both of whom wash Jesus’ feet with their hair. In the 6th Century, Pope Gregory the Great made this assumption official by declaring in a sermon that these three characters were actually the same person: Mary Magdalene, Repentant Saint. The Catholic Church did later declare that Mary Magdalene was not the penitent sinner, but this was not until 1969. After several centuries, the reputation still lingers.”
If the BBC isn’t a good source, how about Cecil Adams?
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a980918.html
(Full disclosure: I work for Cecil Adams. But I believe him.)
Jenny
How about reading the gnostic gospels? The church can say whatever it wants, and what it wants has a long time been in conflict with the facts. Witness Gallileo. Many Biblical scholars accept that Ms Magdalene was a woman who joined with the disciples because she was outcast from other circles- women of the time DID NOT just take up with wandering rabbis. The best theory, and that espoused by the Gnostic gospel of Mary Magdeline, is that Ms Magdalene is the mary of the stoning incident. All that aside, the point remains the same. Assuming Mary Magdalene and the Mary of the stoning incident are two separate people, how does it change anything? Jesus himself made it clear that it is not ours to judge, which was my initial point.
Blast it, can’t seem to get the haloscan trackback to work, but here’s my link:
http://illuminationinc.blogspot.com/2006/08/without-sense-of-humor-world-is-pretty.html
Amen, brother!
My pastor says that the church is not a haven for saints but a hospital for sinners.
— Windy