Neanderpundit

I should have been doing this to everyone on the road today, because they all suxxored.

Top five things I screamed at the top of my lungs today:

“It is NOT NECESARY to come to a complete stop to turn right”
“TURN SIGNALS!!!!”
“Long skinny pedal!!!”
“WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GOING!!!”
“IF YOU STOP AGAIN I WILL GET OUT OF MY CAR AND KILL YOU!”

When I saw “Slap me so hard that I change species from the neck up” I knew that would be the very next thing I yelled at another driver, and I will continue to yell it until it starts happening.

he’s giving away free ice cream. it’s good ice cream, too. Damned good. Real good.

A lot of years ago, before I knew the Ogwife, I briefly dated a girl who worked at a customer- let’s call them XYZ company. Briefly, because at one point she cut the crotch out of my underwear with pinking shears- thankfully, not while I was wearing them. All men know that women who are slightly psychotic make for interesting experiences on both sides of the equation.

Yesterday morning I drove several hundred miles to visit ABC corporation, and as I approached, my heart began to sink. So I text my ersatz boss: “Hey, isn’t this XYZ corp?”

“Yeah, they changed to ABC corp three years back”

ouch.

Wonder if she still works there.

She does.

Turns out not only does she remember me but speaks of me often.

Double ouch.

I do manage to get through a whole day without coming into contact, and it’s tough because I’m there from nine Ayem to after eight peeyem, but I get through, and head home. So in memoriam to girlfriends old and paradise narrowly avoided, one of my favorite Junior Brown songs.