Neanderpundit

but it ain’t good.

I’ve had gas before. I mean, I’m the Fart guy, futhuchrissakes.

There’s a long history. I have a solid understanding of the nature and origin of my farts. There’s the roast beef fart, the Gyros fart, the cottage cheese fart. The onion ring fart, the White castle fart. The deep-fried zucchini fart. THe turkey gravy fart. The oyster stuffing fart. The Kielbasa fart, the Bratwurst fart, the Vienna Red Hots Kosher fart. The cheesy mushroom fart. The cube steak and onion soup mix fart. The ham and cheese omelette fart. The Eli’s cheescake fart.

But today.

No, I have no idea, but this has been coming on a while.

Whatever it has been that I’ve been eating, it comes out smelling like a campground outhouse in the heat of august after a chili cookoff. I mean, when I was a kid I was repulsed by the smell of outhouses, and now, my digestive system does things to food that make me smell like one.

Hell to get old. People tell me it beats the alternative. Until I fart. Then they accuse me of having died prematurely.

Those of you who spend time watching TV will no doubt recognize the Buxton Organizer.

My sainted Motherinlaw, God Rest her soul, I never had the opportunity to meet. But I know a few things about her.

My fatherinlaw was the Mail Order King.

When he passed, we had cases and cases of mail order pens, pencils, notepads, clocks, desk sets, yadda yadda, that were all personalized. “Best Wishes Bill” they said, or “Say no to drugs, Say Yes to Life”.

He loved the stuff.

He also loved his wife. So much so, that seeing her favorite old purse become tattered and torn, he bought her a mail order TV special purse, the day’s equivalent of the Buxton Organizer. IN fact, he got her one in each color, so she’d have one to wear for every occasion. What woman could resist!!

Yes, it had the key holder. THe matching checkbook caddy. The plastic lined area for spare clkothing, if required. So many wonderful features! In stylish leatherene! And just to show everyone how proud she was, he had them all MONOGRAMMED WITH HER FULL NAME.

God love her, she loved him so much that she never told him. She carried these huge hideous obscene purses all over hell and creation, proudly displaying them to everyone as hers, and wincing in embarrasment at being seen with the vile contraptions.

As Westley said: This is true love – you think this happens every day?

It has been my extreme pleasure to have met and spent some time with the DuToits. They are gracious hosts and good friends.

And now, thanks to the skills of the Master of Web Stuff, I can return their friendship. Please note the new ad to the left for “My Biographer”.

In my own family, in the last, say, ten years, we have lost so many, and those who have been lost had lives of interest, of heroism, of human decency.

And we have lost all those stories. We’re trying to keep them among ourselves, and I’m even trying to get the ones remaining to write their stories down.

IN your life, there are people of note. Someone you have respected all your life, someone who always made you laugh, someone whose self sacrifice was vital to your own life. Go to My Biographer and look hard at what Kim has to offer. And think of the story of that person or persons you know, lost forever. This is filthy cheap. Get that story written down. Your children and your children’s children need to know who that person was. And you owe it to them to tell them.

A great deal of what is being lost in our culture is the connectio between one generation and the next. The isolation of each successive generation from the previous one is increasing. Tie the generations together. be the one who begins the tradition in your own family.