Neanderpundit

I only have this story secondhand, so unlike the rest of my seen-it-with-my-own-eyes stories, this one could conceivably be conjecture- though I have at least four actual witnesses to the event.

My inlaws have a couple of cottages on Lake Huron. Now, don’t think Matha Stewart cottages. Think sturdy little shelters in the dunes. Lots of them still have outdoor crappers. At the time of the story, my inlaws cottage was one of them. By the time I first saw it, it had indoor plumbing.

Anyway, back in it’s heyday, it saw a lot of parties, a lot of long weekends, a lot of kids sleeping in bunk beds while moms and dads and aunts and uncles played poker, drank rye, and smoked, late into the night.

On one of these nights, one of the combatants had had a little too much to drink, a little too much to party, and had to head out to the outhouse to relieve herself of her stomach’s burden.

In the morning, she discovered she was missing her false teeth.

In those days, the cost of false teeth was prohibitive.

I’ll let you fill in the rest of the story. And let you wonder, as I do, who had it worse; the three of my inlaws that had to don boots, move the outhouse, and wade in to find the teeth, or the person who had to clean them and put them back into her mouth.

No, nobody new died, but I just caught the Willie Nelson video “you don’t know me”, the Cindy Walker song made most popular here by Ray Charles- at least that’s the version I remember most.

I was never a huge country western fan, but I remember the Outlaws. Waylon Jennings, Johnny Cash, Johnny Paycheck, Merle Haggard, David Allan Coe, Willie Nelson,Kris Kristofferson, Billy Joe Shaver…

If you watch the video, you see an old, old Willie. His hands look like my grandfather’s before he died. He’s not going to be around much longer.

His politics and dope smoking and income tax evasion aside, he’s had some real talent. He’s done some good work over the years,and his musicianship is damned good.

Watching that video seeing that guitar, the signatures on it, the pictures on the mirrors of his tour van… it’s an image of the artist as an old man. Go and watch, if you were ever a fan of the man or the song, and maybe while he’s still alive, sit down and write him a letter, thank him for the entertainment.

Steve H keeps talking about Man Camp, and I keep thinking how much I want to build one.

Now, being the building nerd that I am, it occurs to me to build a place lke Maurice J. Minnifield’s little cabin in Alaska, but that defies the purpose of Man Camp. No, i think it should be a place where it’s almost impossible to get without four wheel drive, and it should be four or five old airstream campers in a circle. The center of the circle sold have an iron roofed pavillion with a couple of old oil-drum BBQ grills and smokers. the trailers should have crappers but only so you can piss in the night without going outside. There should be deer, and you should be able to hunt them in season. There should be gun racks in all the campers, and everyone at Man Camp should be armed, and there should be a target where all members can shoot from a seated position. While eating dinner. With their hands. Gun cleaning suplies should be in the same cabinet as the spices. Salt should be kept in quart mason jars with nail holes in the top.
In fact, if you want to see what a PERFECT Man Camp looks like, go see “Hatari”. One of John Wayne’s best movies, because it includes lots of dangerous animal wrangling (actually done by Wayne and the other actors) target shooting, driving fast in 4wd vehicles, and a bigass house with lots of sleeping rooms and manly furniture. oh, and Elsa Martinelli- who tries to force her way into the ultimate Man Camp and is forced to take the men just as they are, and live with it.

What would you have at your man camp?