Neanderpundit

as Today is the “Sunday” (if you will) of the Church of God the What Were You Thinking.

It makes sense that it be Thursday, because it’s garbage day. As you’re dragging your bins to the curb thinking to yourself “why did I buy that treadmill? and how did it hide in the livingroom so long with clothes on it before it collapsed under the weight of the wife’s winter coats?” slap yourself (gently) and say to yourself ‘What was I thinking?’

If garbage day is on another day in your neighborhood, don’t fret, it’s because the garbagemen are godless heathens. You are forgiven for doing the garbage on a monday, or even a friday.

Also, thursday (at least around here) is Bowling night. Stop by a bowling alley and look at the people bowling. What were they thinking? this is a sport for fat old men who can only run 11 feet before getting out of breath.

During your workday, look at the people around you. Look at Sylvia, in accounting. She’s wearing those tight pants again, the ones that make her ass look like two raccoons fighting in a condom. And she’s got that pale shirt on, and not wearing a bra, so you can see the imprint of her nipples just by her waistband. What was she thinking?

Now, don’t slap any of these people. They’re nice, but probably unbelievers. They serve as an example to the believers, and someday, perhaps, they will come to believe as well. Slapping is a sacrament reserved for group ceremonies. If you want to gently tap yourself on the face and say “what were you thinking” when you see these people, that’s fine, just be very private about it. Otherwise everyone will think we’re Jack Benny impersonators.

Be well, my friends. And no this does not absolve the Catholics among you of your sunday obligation.

should be a daily visit, if it’s not, rectify that immediately, by hitting the last four or five strips. Guns. Broads. Nuff said.

By the way, Chris, when do I get to see your strips in my local newspaper?

Everyone has one. A knife that the kids aren’t allowed to touch, a knife that Dad uses to carve the turkey, a knife that mom uses when she’s got touchy slicing to do.

For me, that knife is a John Primble Hickory knife, hickory scales and carbon steel blade.

I don’t like stainless blades as well as carbon blades, for a couple of reasons, the most important being sharpness. Even high end stainless knives don’t take and keep an edge as well as a properly tempered carbon steel knife. You have to oil and clean them when you’re done using them, but it’s a small price to pay for a decent knife.

I’ve had this knife for many years, and I only let a few people even touch it. It touches up very easily with a good steel, but if I’m gonna be doing a lot of cutting, like carving a roast or a turkey, I’ll sit with it on a white japanese waterstone for a little time, and it comes up shaving sharp in no time. Everytime I pick this knife up, I have a little shiver as I imagine what I’d have if I stopped paying attention for even an instant- when you carve with this it’s like using a lightsaber- you slice through the meat without effort and it cuts so cleanly the meat takes a few moments to realize it’s been cut and fall on the platter. It would take fingers off in no time, it would slice your palm to the gristle in nanoseconds. I don’t bother using it unless I’m 100% alert.

I wonder if I should get a locking knife block?