Neanderpundit

but I can be startled. Twice Saturday I scared up snakes- the first time I walked back to the Cushman and there was one laying right where I had been laying. At this point I was wearing Crocs and since I nearly stepped on the bastard I treated partner to a couple of steps of the traditional dance of my peoples. The second time we were putting some spare dirt on a hole where a stump is rotting, and a snake [popped out of there. I would have never done a thing except he turned and threatened me, and I decided, small though he was, he had crossed over the “live and let live” line. Both were thamnopis in nature, common as dirt and they swarm on my yard at certain times of the year.

I am at this point moved to share with you some wisdom from Josh Billings, from “the complete works”

STRIPED SNAKE.

The striped snake iz one ov the slipperyest jobs that natur ever turned loose.

They travel on the lower side ov themselfs, and kan slip out ov sight like blowing out a kandle. They were made for sum good purpose, but i never hav bin informed for what, unless it waz tew hav their heds smashed.

They are sed tew be innocent, but they hav got a bad reputashun, and all the innocence in the world won’t kure a bad reputashun.

They liv in the grass but seldom git stept on, bekauze they don’t stay long enuff in the right place.
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When i waz a little boy, and wore naked feet, and waz loafing around loose for strawberrys, i waz often times just a going tew step on a striped snaik, but it alwus cured me ov strawberrys.

If a striped snaik got into a 10-aker lot before i did, i alwus konsidered that all the strawberrys in that lot belonged tew the snaik.

“Fust cum, fust sarve,” was mi motto.

I am just az fraid ov snaiks now az i waz 40 years ago, and if i should liv tew be az old az Nebudkennezer waz, and go tew grass as he did, one striped snaik would spile 50 akers ov good pasture for me.

Wimmin don’t luv snaiks enny more than i do, and i respekt her for this.

How on earth Eve waz seduced by a snaik, iz a fust class mistery tew me, and if i hadn’t read it in the bible, i would bet aginst it.

I beleave everything thare iz in the bible, the things i kant understand, I beleave the most.

I wouldn’t swop oph the phaith i hav got for any living man’s knoweledge.

Snaiks are all sorts, and all sizes, and the smaller they are, the more i am afrade ov them.

I wouldn’t buy a farm at haff price that had a striped snaik on it.

Ded snaik are a weakness with me; i always respekt them, and whenever i see a ded one in the road, i dont drop a tear on him, but i drop another stone on him, for fear he might alter his mind and cum tew life agin, for a snaik hates tew die just az much az a kat duz.

I never could ackount for a snaik or a kat hateing tew die so bad, unless it waz bekauze they waz so poorly prepared for deth

All of the projects and other things that have reared their ugly heads have temprarily stalled, so I was able to take the time to reassemble the Cushman. The engine had been “Almost” for some time now, and between friday and saturday Partner and I managed to get it back together. With the plug inserts properly installed and the compression more balanced it runs like a scalded dog. Need to do some brake work to it, and get a few more hours on it, then do an oilchange and maybe some new tires

Well, the important bit is, the shelves have to appear to be full.

One way to do this, of course, is to gather all the ammo from other stores, emptying their shelves.

You can also mix in a lot of shotgun shells in with the ammo to make it look like you have more than you actually have.

Alternately you can take a lot of common calibers and mix them in- there are 30-06 and45-70 on every shelf.

Don’t forget to unwrap a bunch of 7.62×39 tulammo fill shelf space.

Classically, you can also display loads of oddball calibers.

OK, 218 Bee is not that oddball, I guess.

7-30 Waters, now, it’s been years since i even heard of it, and I don’t think you can buy a repeating rifle in that caliber anywhere.

Still, the new improved Gander Mountain is a nice store, concentrating on new and used firearms and middling quality shooting/hunting clothing, as well as reloading supplies (With an emphasis on shotshell reloading). They kept the mannequins that used to display life vests and canoe paddles and put 5.11 clothes on them.

Tactical girl seems to be getting ready to whip out some kung fu on someone.

A change in perspective tells a different story. “Not that size, you moron, THIS size!”

Metrosexual boys, all duded out in their new 5.11 gear, have arrived and are surrenduring right off.