November 2006

Damngutters and damned leaves

I have cleaned my gutters so damned many times now I have decided I may lose the gutters altogether and just go with french drains.

If we can get them to all work OK, I may get to hang lights tonight- if not, it’ll have to wait till next weekend. What an enormous pita.

Midnight Micturation

Ellison has a post over here about Wee Wee Roulette, and I have to chime in with a post of my own, a bit too long to leave in a comment.

1: never, ever live in a house with a fuzzy toilet seat cover. I was visiting some friends years ago, and stood in front of the bowl late at night, barely roused form a deep sleep by the need for peeed. I stood with my shins touching the bowl, but becuase there was always loud music in the house, never heard the pee stream. Not until the urine had soaked the fuzzy cover and begun to run down my legs did it dawn on me the lid was closed. Fuzzy crapper seat covers are the tool of satan.

2: never leave a condom on. After a late night in a similar situation to #1, I woke and stood in the bathroom (this time having made sure the seat was up) let loose, and walked back to bed, barely registering the pressure of the now-urine-filled condom touching my leg, until I sat on the edge of the bed and it burst, showering my ankles with urine and the detritus of the amorous encounter. Wasn’t even my house.

Just in case anyone is wondering…

The Ogwife makes the best sweet-potato pie in the universe. Bar none. And I’ve eaten a lot of goddamned sweet potato pies.

It took all I could do to keep from taking a whole pie with me hunting t’other day.

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