Neanderpundit

43,974 tape measures.

I am equidistant from them all.

They seem to be equidistant to one another.

The proximity of the ear to a cellphone decreases, inversely, the driver’s ability to sense the presence of the acceleraor pedal.

I will be propped up naked on a table in surgery, while a doctor I only just met monday roots around in my left knee. While my ginormous scrotum freezes to the stainless table like Flick’s tongue. I hope they have a teflon spatula.

I did use a magic marker to write “this one” on it.

My knee, not my scrotum.