Neanderpundit

Just after the first of the year, when the Oglet was home on vacation, I thought, I will make some Bubba Burgers, and I will put on them some salsa and avocado, and they will be extra tasty.

So I went and got some bubba burgers. There is always salsa in the house. And I got a perfect avocado. Plenty to put a couple slices on each of three burgers for the wife, the oglet, and I.

I came home, and unpacked, and was just about to toss the bag in the trash when I felt a lump; I reached into the bag and pulled out the avocado I had temporarily forgotten. And then I sat it on the counter.

At which point it disappeared forever.

At first I thought I was being gaslighted, but the wife and daughter swore they hadn’t touched it.

By now, I thought a trail of gnats would lead us to it, but so far no luck. I figure it will turn up someday, but the longer it takes the less I look forward to it.

that I must file it on my income tax. This pleases me immeasurably. Yay for uncle sam getting a bite of something they didn’t lift a finger to do.

to anyone who knows me that I have gotten grouchier as I have aged, and I seem to be reaching some vertical asymptote, beyond which even my grouchiness cannot prevail.

Because of this I value my friends all the more, because they understand my grouchiness and accomodate it.

Meanwhile, I am beset on all sides by the rankest most amateurish stupid that money can buy. Yesterday I was given notice that I had to fill out the Gallup strengths profiler. To anyone who has not had this as part of their flavor of the month (We’ve done it all, lean manufacturing, ISO, yadda yadda) it’s a sort of a microcosm of the old Minnesota Multiphasic. Which I’ve taken so many times it’s not funny.

Tsk. Clarice, do you think you can dissect me with this blunt little tool?

Anyway, I filled out the questionaire and broke it. It couldn’t figure out what to do with my answers, and suggested I take the test again. I passed the info on to my boss, as requested, and he suggested I try again. I explained to him that I would give the exact same answers and get the exact same results, and I was done playing silly games. He forwarded the results message to HR, who called me and suggested I try again, and I explained to him that there was no way I would answer a single question differently, and he sent me onto ANOTHER HR person, and that person wanted to know if I was sure I had given the best answers I could, and I asked him what answers he would like me to give, and I would be pleased to give them. A shitstorm of stupid ensued, and then I got the “Annual review” form, (Which of course relies on the data from the test that I broke). I filled that out to the best of my ability, and I expect another shitstorm about that tomorrow.

I have never been dishonest about a damned thing there, and I am constantly amazed that nobody has a fucking clue what to do with the truth.