Neanderpundit

There’s an old saying that when a dog pisses on the ryan, all of chicago grinds to a halt. ANd today, that was most assuredly true. No ice, no snow, just some water and rain. Not even any standing water. Just idiots as far as the eye could see.

And then I got to work. That, at least, went well. Because of the beating my sweet tooth takes when on Atkins, I stopped and picked up a bag of sugar free candy.

And didn’t know it contained maltitol.

Eventually, I ate the whole bag- a candy at a time, over the course of the day. (only 15 pieces)

And stopped at Jewel for some ice for the brotherinlaw- had his teeth pulled today in prep for a new upper plate, god love him, all his remaining upper choppers pried out at once. Anyway, on the way to the cash register, I experienced The Call. I put down the stuff I was carrying and did the buttpinch walk all the way to the crapper, where I found the butcher peeing int he toilet. I had to wait for him to get done, and then wipe his urine off the seat (the urinal, six feet away, was EMPTY) and then nearly didn’t make it.

Then again when I got home.
Then again a half hour ago. Then again..

Crap, I had to stop just then and go again.

They shouldn’t call that stuff maltitol, they should call it WhaPow! because that’s what it does to your bowels. I stood up to survey my accomplishment and saw what appeared to be tractor parts in there, along wiht theubiquitous atkins salad and circus peanuts. (don’t know where they come from, I’ve never EATEN circus peanuts) anyway, until this shit exits my system, I can look forward to seeing everything I eat a half hour or more later. Maybe I should eat a watch, to see just how long it takes. If Christopher Walken can do it… nah, maybe not.

I won’t link to his site, but the gist of it is here:

Fact is, Dean, the core tenets of Islam involve death or enslavement of non-muslims. The core tenets of Christianity do not. Deal with it. You’re wrong. You know lots of great muslims, huh? I’m glad they like their pet. because to them, dean, you’re a pet. You aren’t fully human, by their definition. Deal with it, you’re wrong. “Some of my best friends are black” too.

Islam is toxic to human life, as Mr P puts it. To make it clearer for you, because I understand on this subject you’re utterly closedminded, I, We, Those who have brains, are not at war with islam. Islam is at war with us. We merely defend ourselves.
Islam is an ideaology which is at odds with freedom, with tolerance, and with real justice. Deal with it, Dr Dismay, you’re wrong.

Hat tip Anvil Boy

I have an occasionally precocious child- and she sometimes comes up with some wisecrack, out of whole cloth, that surprises us all.

Last night, falling asleep on the couch, her sitting on the other end doing her religion homework, I rip off a big Gyros fart.

her- waving around her religion workbook like a fan- “You could have at least let me live to fourteen”