Neanderpundit

are gonna read likea Tarantino flick. Yeah, they’ll be way out of order. Deal with it.

Getting to Dick’s place ended up being an interesting exercise in confusion.

First of all: Shoe meets me at the afternoon of the NOR shoot. IN a sea of NOR folks, she spotted me in a second. (Not a big deal, I told her to look for the biggest asshole and she found me instantly)

Anyway, at the appointed time, she began to follow me to my car, and I warned her if she continued to do so she would get to see a nearly naked fat man, and she wisely went elsewhere and averted her eyes.

So I stripped down and changed in the parking lot, hopped into the car, and headed off to Dick’s place. Following Chou.

Who very nearly got us both arrested by doing 70 in a 30 zone in front of a cop. The cop turned around, and proceeded to ignorer us. I think she used some magic hand gesture. After all, she’s a psycho bitch Anyway, we got to Dick’s a few minutes before dick was due home, and ran in and did our best to convince Kelly to hightail it for the hills. Pitiably, Dick returned home before we were able to have much success, so the conversation turned, as it naturally will, to the size of my scrotum, and why Shoe should never use the little bottles of conditioner and cream rinse in the hotels.

Dick is in the process of rebuilding a remarkably nice home. It’s made of a brick that has an interesting and inviting texture, which is less noticeable until you get up close to it.

On the inside, there is a beautiful kitchen, surrounded almost entirely by a full-blown remodel in progress. You have to give it to Kelly for putting up wiht the mess and not driving her car over Dick as he sleeps. And you have to give it to Dick for taking the trouble to un-bubba some of the SPOTs he’s finding (Stupid Previous Owner Tricks) He’s taking on a job I would certainly have walked away from.

Now: I had the damnedest time even getting my ass down to visit with these people, and I felt bad about arriving empty handed, but they showed me a damned good time- my ginormous scrotum was well pleased. Chou was also an incredible conversationalist, and a real lady, despite being, of course, a psycho bitch. She also knows how to wear jeans.

Dick was nice enough to watch the blog while I was gone, since my dear old friend and confidant Mlle Jenny is eyeball deep in gators herself right now. he spent some time playing Whack-a-troll with Sir Fredrick James, who then followed a link to Dick’s site. I know this won’t make any difference, because my blog is so horrid Sir Fredrick never deigns to stop by here anymore, but Jim, old boy, Dick has shoulders about three times as wide as his waist. Yep, he’s just a fat kid in a trailer park.

me, I am a fat kid. Well, not so much a kid anymore. And not so fat either. You see, fat as I am, I’m losing weight. Jim will always be a short-bus fucktard.

Thanks, Dick, Thanks, Kelly. And thanks, Chou, for helping me find their place and not get lost.

At least Dick doesn’t chug cock like someone I know.

Fuck it. I drove to Arkansas, then to Tejas, then home

A lot of shit happened.

I had dinner with abotu a thousand people- Dick and Kelly and Shoe among them. More on all that later.

I grinned a lot

I shot a lot of stuff

Chris Byrne complimented me on my shooting. Kind of like getting a pat on the back from God.

Kim and Connie are intensely gracious hosts. As are Dick and Kelly.

Dick made a steak that, while I couldn’t eat it all, I wanted to rub it on myself.

Much more later. For now, work beckons.