Neanderpundit

on dad’s part

was I always uninterested in sports.

We didn’t have softball or baseball leagues when I was a kid, though lots of the kids would play in our yard- slices of old, dead oaks as bases, the neighbor kids would swarm around and smack a ball around just about every summer’s day. Me, I’d rather be reading. But on a fine summer day, dad came out to the yard with a mitt and a ball and a bat, bound and determined to get me interested in baseball.

Hell, why not? I thought, if i could get to the point where I wouldn’t embarrass myself not being able to throw, or catch, or hit the ball, I might just enjoy this. besides, the couple of girls in the neighborhoos would sometimes also play, and I was just beginning to notice the dirfference between girls and boys, so what the hell.

So dad and I tossed the ball back and fourth- he catching the ball regularly, me dropping it with the same regularity. He got frustrated with me, but to his credit, he never yelled or chided me, he only encouraged.

Anyway, after some time he decided maybe if I couldn’t catch the ball I might be able to swat it. So he stood me up over a 2″ slice of white oak as a plate, and started tossing the ball. Here I did a little better, actually making contact with a few balls, but most of them went foul.

“I want you to try to hit it straight out here, ok?”

I had been trying to hit the ball but not hit dad, but he assured me he’d get out of the way, so I swung, hit, and he caught it in midair

I felt like a million dollars. He grinned from ear to ear. And threw the ball again.

I flung that bat around with all my might, connected,

And hit him directly in the face.

The ball hit him right between the eyes, and laid him out like a mackerel. Oh My God! I killed dad! I flung the bat and ran out to him, where he was groaning, rolled over on his side, levered himself to his feet, all the time telling me it wasn’t my fault as i cried and apologised.

Don’t think I ever picked up a bat again while he was alive.

For the rest of his life the top of his nose was shaped like the curve of a baseball..

May have contributed to my disinterest in the sport.

No relation to Conan the Librarian.

Went to Cabelas with Partner this afternoon, since he was looking at an M1 Carbine. There were three there last week, this week only two. One a modern gun with blue, one a clean issue Inland made rifle with intact parkerizing but no mags.

I told him he’d be sorry if he came back the following week and it was gone.

So he bought it.

My work here is done.

FOr now.

No, not phone calls from the dead.

How long have you had a cellphone? do you hang it from your belt? stick it in a pocket? Do you turn it to “vibrate” when you don’t want to annoy people with the ringer?

SO when you don’t have the phone, does your hip or pocket or belt vibrate anyway? Do you answer a phone that you don’t have?

No, me neither. Not ever. Hardly. More than once a day or so. Nope.