Neanderpundit

Went to Keller’s tonight for burgers and a cold beer. (If you live in D/FW and haven’t been yet, shame on you) It was a typical Saturday night there. ’56 Vettes, ’48 Fords, and a sweet little green Shelby Cobra was parked next to Kelly’s Honda while we ate burgers and tots.

The best part? Keller’s is one of those dumps that attracts every form of life known to man. Mexican, and poor black gang-bangers, real scooter trash, Asian mob wannabees, and white chicks without a single tooth in their heads. This place is in one of the seedier parts of Dallas, but we had a blast checking out the rides and people, and even felt safe the entire time.

Was it because I was packin’ my .40 cal.? Nope, I wasn’t packing a damn thing. It’s because at Keller’s, everybody else is packing heat and nobody here is stupid enough to start a gunfight.

Later.

When I was in Africa, I learned something about bananas.

See, outside just about every little mud walled grass roofed hut in Africa is a bananna tree.

The purpose of this tree is not to provide the family with a supply of fresh bananas, though it does do that.

No, the banana tree is a toilet. They are stiff enough that they can be hung on to, and you do that, and squat, and then you can wipe yourself (if you’re into it, apparently most are not) with the dried leaves of the tree.

I told this to the people I work with over lunch one day, and a co-worker took his banana out of his lunchbag and pushed it across the table at me. ‘Guess I won’t be needing that”.

The tuesday before New Years I was eating wiht him when he pulled an orange out of his bag. “You know” I said “In africa…’

“Take it” he said, and stepped away from the table leaving his lunch mostly uneaten.

Some people just have such weak stomachs.

This has been the holiday during which I wasted the most time of any holiday in my adult life.

Oh, I did a pro bono side gig here and there, but for the most part, nothing.

Mostly a lollygagged around.

I’ve discovered that inertia does more harm to the knees than movement. I’m always in more pain when I do nothing than when I’m busy. Church tomorrow and then I will be pleased to get back to the grind.