It seems to come from everywhere and from everybody. Day after day; with nary a let up. From every known retailer, and wholesaler out there. From pool supply companies, which I always find a bit odd as we don’t have a pool and from Discover, I receive those checks. You know the ones I speak of. The little bundle of ten or so checks, bound together, beckoning you to spend your hard earned dollars.

From the warranty companies who are warning me I only have a few days left to act! And the insurance companies that want to make certain they take good care of Kelly and my son when I’m gone. Speaking of which, I won’t be purchasing that discount casket anytime soon, so why do those people insist on sending me stuff?

Lucky from them, I enjoy their junk mail, and I thank them for their effort, their hard earned dollars, and mountains of hard work. You see, I collect and keep the envelopes, special offers and deals I shouldn’t be able to refuse. And I use it to start fires, in my fireplace.

Thank you Discover Card. Your checks came in handy this morning when I was…