Neanderpundit

My god, I thought Billy Mays sucked.

Vince Offer (was there ever a more apt name?) has dethroned Billy as the most annoying TV huckster ever.

And what’s with the microphone? Has he not heard that they have decent microphones on TV?

Anyway, I just had to get that off my chest, and onto yours. He’s a former scientologist– which should give you a little clue about scientology. When Vince Offer says “hey, this looks bogus” you gotta wonder.

You know, the kind of beating that you get in a bar after standing on a barstool and call everyone in the bar a cousin fucking booger eating union liberal obama voter? You know, the beating where you push a handful of fuckers into the women’s crapper and then kick the doorknob off it so they’re stuck in there? And when they come out they take turns holding you and beating you with the pieces of the door? The one where the cops show up and you’re on the ground bleeding while six big fuckers stand and kick you, and the cop shoots one of them and takes them all to lockup and calls an ambulance for you, even though you instigated the whole shebang? Where the hospital sews you up and sends you home with a half dozen icebags ace-bandaged to various parts of your body? The morning after THAT beating?

yeah. When I was 18, or 25, or even 40, I could wake up the morning after that beating, and smile, drooling a little blood, and groan, and go about my day. And in two, three days I was fine again.

For the last two months I’ve woken up feeling like the day after that beating every fucking day. And it ain’t got any better. Leading me to ask, WTF? So I had a bucketload of blood tests friday morning, hopefully I’m just an old fuck getting older, and I just have to accustom myself to the new pain levels.

I am a bit surprised they left me any blood, the number of vials of the shit they took.

And I pissed all over myself before I realized the instructions they gave me for providing a “Clean” sample were the “female” ones. I couldn’t figure out why they wanted me to wipe first.

So yesterday morning, time zone difference firmly grasped in my cranium, I hop in the car with my best friend Partner, and head on down to the funshow. We pull out of the driveway at 0600.

We got there at 1100 hours. Nice, huh? The roads were nice enough, at one point, that while trying to change lanes, the truck decided it was tired of going in that boring old forward orientation and decided to go sideways for a while.

At one point, a large box truck screamed past us at about twice our speed. We let it. About ten miles down the road, said box truck was in a ditch, it’s box less squarish than trapezoidal, and it’s contents are scattered all over the shoulder.

We arrived at the fairgrounds and parked, and it only took a brief time for Partner and I to unclench our buttocks from the seat cushions (an action caused by the aforementioned sideways excursion) and we staggered into the (by now 150 meter long) line.

I was looking for a Moisin, Partner for a Krag carbine. And possibly a Springfield Armory 03/A3 with a scant stock. We each found what we wanted but were not as happy with the asking prices and the quality. A sellers market to be sure. Found some nice ammo cans- I need to buy some larger ones, the range cans now take three trips to get into the car- but in the end, Partner’s brother got himself a nice 03/A3 (remington), Partner got himself a replacement elevation knob for his Garand (his had become stripped) and I got a spare mag for my Colt 380 Government model.

The trip home was far less eventful. Thank god.

Pitiably, a bucketload of people I’d have liked to have seen were there, and I didn’t get to see them, the damned place was insane. I cannot imagine what it will be like in warm weather. The Valpo show is coming in february, a show about 1/5 the size of Indy but supposedly a good show nonetheless.

A little hint for people that attend shows:

If you want to stop and gawk at something, STOP AND GAWK WITH YOUR BIG ASS OUT OF THE AISLE. And if you want to actually SEE the show, it helps to KEEP MOVING. THE SHOW IS NOT ON A CONVEYOR BELT, IT WILL NOT MOVE PAST YOU THAT YOU MAY REVIEW IT. One foot in front of the other, OK?

Thatisall.