Neanderpundit

The irrakwa have a story about the chipmunk and the bear. The bear, apparently, the largest and strongest of creatures in Irrakwa land, was walking through the forest ripping huge rotten logs apart with ease to find food, and sang a little song to himself and also anyone who could hear, which was everyone:

“I am the master of all
My claws know no equal
I have strength to rend
the bare earth
and nothing can
withstand my wrath”

(If you spoke bear, this would rhyme, but not very well)

Wherupon the little chipmunk laughed. In those days, the chipmunk was simply a lesser squirrel, a tree dweller,brown and small, with an insignificant tail, and no stripes. “Haha!” Said the Chipmunk.” You, strongest of all! If you have such strength, stop the sun from rising!”

“I will! Sit and watch!” said the bear, and he sat down and watched the sun set. He waited all the night there, and when the birdsong began, he stood on his hind legs and commanded “Sun, you shall not rise!” Heedless, the sun did as it always does; the bear in his fury destroyed several acres of forest as the sun ignored his commands.

The little chipmunk was insane with laughter. He said “The sun is stronger than Bear! I knew it would be, nothing stops the sun!Bear, red with rage, said “I may not stop the sun, but you will never see it rise again!” and clapped his enormous paw down onto the back of the chipmunk.The chipmunk squealed in pain- “Please, I deserve to die for laughing but let me sing my death song before you crush me! The bear lifted his paw and the chipmunk darted for an abandoned snake burrow. Bear slashed the earth with all his might but the tips of his claws merely scratched the back of the chipmunk, who stayed in the ground, eating roots and insects as he recovered. When again he saw the light, the bear had forgotten the incident (bears being long on strength but short on brains) and the chipmunk had five dark stripes on his back where the bears claws had scraped him. And that, my friends, is how the Chipmunk got his stripes and began to live underground.

I have had that loathsome “single ladies” song jammed in my skull all day, and the band of prancing divas that perform it. Worst of all I am reading Kipling and the deathless words of his poems reform themselves around the cheap melody. A lot of brain bleach to remove this, I promise. I may have to drink this out.