Neanderpundit

being the kind of guy who prefers not to climb a ladder while clutching a running chainsaw, I have used a rope saw to drop branches.

I was in the process of doing this on a rather large tree for some friends, and since they were particular what branches they wanted dropped and where, i was having to be extra careful where my rope saw cut.

I have zero athletic abilities- I cannot throw a stone at the broadside of a barn, from the inside. So I had a rubber ball on a fishline in a Zebco 202 taped to the bottom of a Wrist Rocket.

At some height, though, the line would get caught so i switched to a little baggie with sand in it, which helped, but not quite enough. So I had some shotshells in the truck, and I cut them open to take out five or six ounces of lead #6 birdshot.

This worked perfectly, and I cut down several limbs. The last one, however, was high. So I stood back, took aim, and shot my little bag of lead shot over the branch.

A car horn or backfire distracted me momentarily
And the bag of lead shot clocked me in the back of the head like a sap. It laid me out like a mackerel, and when I woke up it was getting dark.

I cut down the branch and went home.

I have always been the person I should fear most.

Mostly the ivy stuff is on my wrists and neck.

I’m thinking of getting a T shirt that reads

It’s poison ivy.
Don’t hit me
with a banjo!