Neanderpundit

While I no longer smoke full time I will bum one now and again, predominantly at social gatherings. Though that is getting to be less and less the case these days.

Ed quotes Dennis Leary about the new smoking warnings.

Dennis is right. No matter what you put on the pack, it’s not gonna make any difference.

When you smoke, and I smoked for thirty years, so I can tell you this with absolute certainty- when you smoke, you will smoke no matter what. If your head hits the pillow and you realize you’re out of cigarettes, your eyes will snap open. You know that waking up without that wake-up-smoke will suck. it will suck badly. it will suck so badly that you are not going to be able to go to sleep thinking about how bad it will suck to be you when you wake up.

So you will crawl your ass out of bed. You will slide into whatever clothes are at hand. Even if the only thing you have to wear that is remotely presentable is a pair of jeans that are three inches too short and a t shirt that has cat diarrhea on it. You will wrap yourself in whatever coat you have, and whatever shoes you have that don’t require you to bend over too far to put them on, and you will trudge out into 14″ deep snowdrifts, hook the battery charger up to the truck until it warms enough, drive through a miserable sleety blizzard to the nearest open store that sells tobacco products, and stand in line behind teenagers trying to buy condoms and booze until you can get your grimy sleep deprived mitts on a fresh pack of nicotiney goodness. And then you will smoke one or two on the way home, causing you to not sleep well, just because.

But in the morning, you will have that wake-up-smoke.

When you have that monkey on your back, full time, the monkey does not care how awful are the pictures on the pack.

Fucking idiots.

BTW, smokers may singlehandedly be keeping Medicare temporarily afloat, because smokers die younger of diseases of shorter duration.

Speaking of Medicare, you’ll hear your Dr talking about how medicare is the bomb diggity shiznit. That’s because Medicare uses what they call “Pay and chase” where they just send checks out for claims as they arrive. of COURSE drs like this. And only if someone complains do they chase down the validity of the claim. This is why at least 10% of medicare money is fraud (That’s the number Medicare themselves admit, it’s probably much higher)

I was going cross-country on one of these. It had been motorized, somehow. Stephanie Abrams was on another one, and she had a bigger engine than I, so it was hard for me to stay in front of her, which I had to do, because she smelled bad, and behind her was a bad place to be. Even a half mile back was bad, the hang time on that smell was serious.

We were travelling to Vegas on I-15, and we kept hitting pockets of rain, which she hated and I loved. Once she decided to go offroad to avoid a cloudburst, and ended up jammed solid in a mudhole. David Carradine came up out of the mud to rescue her, and once she was unstuck he slipped down in the mud again. About thirty miles out of Vegas, she picks up Dean Winters, who sits behind her on the Big Wheel. He keeps looking across at me as if to say “Why the hell didn’t you warn me about the smell?” and when we arrive he strips naked and burns his clothes. I loan him a pair of pants that he could use like a sleeping bag and he goes into a mall and buys clothes. Stephanie is surrounded by mexican groupies, and i wake up.

Apparently that Walmart stuff has some psychocilibin in it, or this is just a flashback.

Put in a good word for Scout 26

He lives out where I work, and he’s fighting a tough battle. A word to the guy upstairs could not hurt.

Especially you atheists. God is always amused to hear from you.