Or perhaps orc feet. They’re pretty gnarled and funky in any event. Look at the job they have to do.

Right know I’m awake and it’s not because I think 2:30 is a hella cool time to be awake, but because a little flap of dead skin on my left big toe decided to come almost loose and feel like a nail was being driven into my toe whenever it touched the sheets. I would just be drifting off to sleep and I’d be all like, hey what’s biting my toe? And then it would stop and id drift off again and then I’d move again and if be like wtf? So I used the flashlight feature of my Android phone to illuminate the area while I carved the bleeding and painful offending flap of dead skin off with my pocketknife.

And of course now I can’t get back to sleep.