of the weekend, few compare to seeing the 65 lb anorectic woman wearing the skintight(just not on her) grey running shorts and t-shirt wrestly a slobberyfaced English Bulldog (Who weighed at least 45 lbs) out of the back of an Expedition so it could pee in the grass of the BP station. Cute bulldog, too. Midwest Chick bought a Suzy-Q to throw at her as we passed, but we forgot/chickened out.

The second best was certainly the sight in the rearview of Midwest Chick gasping for air. And it wasn’t even because I farted! (if it was me, you’d be dead!)

Then there was the time when milk nearly came out of Roberta’s Nose. And there was no milk in the restaurant.

Not to be left out, mr B spent a goodly amount of time demonstrating his ability to speak Tase. I myself speak tase, in several languages, a couple dialects, and Dog. Frinstance: !!POIJGBOIJhbuoGIHyGpGViug!! means “Golly, this hurts!” whereas “BROWWOOOWWOOOOO” means STOP THE FUCKING TRUCK RIGHT NOW YOU DUMBASS AND TAKE THE ELECTRONIC FENCE COLLAR OFF ME, DAMMIT!” Stewardess? Can I be of assistance? I speak Tase! The most interesting man in the world, speaks Tase. In Dog.

“Howling Asshelmets” is not a good name for a motorcycle gang
If you needed those giant saddlebags on your 883 Sportster, you might at least have figured how to secure them, so they didn’t spread out in the wind like a canada goose flaring for a landing.

If your non english speaking polish wife insists on wearing white see-through shorts tight enough that they are very nearly on the inside of her skin, try to
1: get her to wear corresponding color panties/thong.
2: Try to get it out of her system before she’s 65
3: Make sure she weighs more than 65 lbs, too.

No man is an island. No man should be the size of an island, either. I’m talking to you, on the harley, dude.

And apparently, Old NFO held the horns.