Yesterday I had to pick up some items from our painter that will end up on our showroom floor. So i had to rent a uhaul- a big one.

I have done this before, plenty of times, but yesterday I was handed the keys to a brand spanking new 17 footer.

Now, I have never driven a new Uhaul before. Usually, they have been used and abused by the time I put my hands on them, and don’t drive straight down the road anymore, often have large pieces missing, the box smells like a meth lab and the cab smells like someone drowned a mangy hyena in a tub of rancid cantu shea butter and left it in the sun to percolate.

So to sit on clean seats in a cab smelling of freshly minted naugahyde while driving a vehicle that acted like new was- well, maybe not enjoyable, but less revolting than usual. Then on the way back I put it through it’s paces- it was empty, and I wasn’t going to destroy anything, and I bought the insurance.

It is remarkably easy to light up the tires on an empty Uhaul. Doing so in front of the retirement home might have been mean, the grou pf them sittting out on the lawn must have thought the Reaper had come for the lot of them, and brought a truck so he’d have something to haul them all in.

Freeway ON ramps with the leaning truck and the “TRUCKS 35MPH” were like a challenge. The tail on the sucker kept trying to kick out around 65, but I figured if I lifted I would reap the whirlwind, so I just gritted my teeth and kept going.

Poor sucker will probably never be the same.

This is why you always buy insurance on rentals.

I did not get it in the air, but lord, did I try.