You guys are the best. You help regulate my blood pressure, filter waste products from my bloodstream, yadda yadda yadda. All in all, you do a fine job, and I am most appreciative. Really.

One teensy thing, though: Could you maybe wait until the alarm goes off at 6:00 before you fill the bladder? 5:15 is a bad time. Really. When you make me get out of bed at that time, it just hoses up my whole fucking day, ok? And it isn’t like i haven’t tried. I mean, if I drink a little before I go to bed, it’s 5:15. If I drink a lot before I go to bed, it’s 5:15. if I drink nothing for four hours before bedtime and wring the last drops of urine out of my bladder, it’s 5:15. Always juuuuust enough time to get back to bed, and drift off to sound sleep agai.. BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!