Neanderpundit

For those who may have met me for the first time at the friday Summit of Truth, or those who I will meet Sunday at the schiznits at fritz’s, welcome! Rather than read through the whole dreck of this site, let me direct you to the good stuff: Why I don’t drink part one and two

Some Crapblogging. Careful, these are not pretty, as a general rule. Really.

Also remember, scatology need not involve poop.

Then there are the traffic rants. This is the most vitriol filled one. There are plenty more.

Things I’ve learned

That’s a random sampling. If you like that read more. Still, those should be cause enough for a restraining order.

And having to push through them to get to things like the Summit of Truth on nearby Truth Island.

Nice to see you all again, next time try to clear a little more space for the chopper. Having to set down on the helipad of Biloxis’yacht was just degrading. The welcoming band was nice, though. How does Mick keep himself in such good shape?

I wear a beard, mostly because of the eye-watering ugly it hides.
I shave parts of may face to avoid the Eric Clapton look, and for the most part that’s not a big deal.

Except when i don’t shave for a while.

See there’s this one hair follicle that’s clearly a horrid radiation enhanced mutant, which grows a single hair about as big around as a pencil lead. When I don’t shave for a long period of time, it gets long and thick and every time I pull on a shirt or a sweater, it gets caught on this hair, and since the hair is so thick, causes a remarkable amount of pain.

Over the holidays I rarely shaved once. I had no reason to do so, so my beard got pretty wild, and that included the Wild Hair. No big deal, right? shave, and you’re fine. Except for the wild hair. If I try to shave it off, once it has exited the skin, it dulls the razor, and then I cut a hunk of meat out of my face that I could fry.

So you have to pull it. Tweezers won’t touch it, so it’s time to get the needlenose pliers. Standing in front of the bathroom mirror trying to grip this errant mutant with pliers, is a cause of some amusement for the ogwife and oglet. Anyway, I get a good grip and yank, and the bastard pops out along with a large portion of flesh and a few feet of my small intestine (at least that’s the way it feels) and I’m bereft of the SOB again.

At least it’s on my face. Imagine if this was an ass hair? Now you know what they mean when they say “wild hair up your ass”