Neanderpundit

With his aerodynamic ears and all.

Sorry. A Muslim Socialist has no business running this country. He has no business being a senator from Illinois, and frankly, he has no business holding any public office in this country. He should be convicted of treason, of which he is guilty, and sentenced according to the Constitution.

but it ain’t good.

I’ve had gas before. I mean, I’m the Fart guy, futhuchrissakes.

There’s a long history. I have a solid understanding of the nature and origin of my farts. There’s the roast beef fart, the Gyros fart, the cottage cheese fart. The onion ring fart, the White castle fart. The deep-fried zucchini fart. THe turkey gravy fart. The oyster stuffing fart. The Kielbasa fart, the Bratwurst fart, the Vienna Red Hots Kosher fart. The cheesy mushroom fart. The cube steak and onion soup mix fart. The ham and cheese omelette fart. The Eli’s cheescake fart.

But today.

No, I have no idea, but this has been coming on a while.

Whatever it has been that I’ve been eating, it comes out smelling like a campground outhouse in the heat of august after a chili cookoff. I mean, when I was a kid I was repulsed by the smell of outhouses, and now, my digestive system does things to food that make me smell like one.

Hell to get old. People tell me it beats the alternative. Until I fart. Then they accuse me of having died prematurely.