Neanderpundit

Tam wrote here about Tolerance Stack, and uses one of her favorite words to describe how much material she needs to take off the end of her new guide rod so it will fit in her Para.

Which got me wondering:

How many thousandths in an inch? .
This is actually a question I posed to a young (but know-it-all) apprentice we had back in the day. He had this response: “I bet there’s a bunch”

He turned red with incandescent rage when we laughed at him. “Like you know!” he yelled, and stormed from the roon.

Actually, what it got me thinking was, what are the rates of exchange for the different imaginary units? I don’t think there is one, or if there is, I certainly couldn’t find it.

So never being one to see a target move without trying to nail it down, I figured I’d set some of these things to rights here.

So:

As far as I can determine,

1000 zillion = 1 bazillion. (Not to be confused with Basilian, the Order of St Basil)
1000 Bazillion = 1 Gazillion
1000 Gazillion = 1 jillion
1000 jillion = 1 Bajillion
1000 Bajillion = 1 Kajillion
1000 Kajillion = 1 Kabillion
1000 Kabillion = 1 Umptillion
1000 Umptillion = 1 Squillion
1000 Squillion = 1 googillion
1000 Googillion = 1 Hojillion.

Part of the problem we encounter is the mixture of metric an imperial units. For instance: A Hojillionth of an inch is actually .073 skosh, (or, as the Japanese say, Sukoshi) (You thought I made that shit up, didnt’ you?) There are three cubic shosh in a Smidge, and One Smidge of pure Unobtaium has a mass of 1 tad.

Clear?

Now let’s look at units of time:

The Photosecond is the amount of time it takes a small boy to reach his bed after turning off the lights. A Photosecond is defined as the distance from the light switch to the bed divided by the speed of light * .9875.

The ohnosecond is the amount of time it takes to realize that your mom is cleaning out your bedroom and will soon discover your stash of (illicit substances, porn, personal electrical appliances, etc)

The Hellnosecond is the amount of time that elapses between me hearing “I’m Kelly with Senator Obama’s Campaign” and me hanging up.

Add yours in comments.

The Ogwife made two. TWO. Sweet potato pies.

Two. Sweet. Potato. Pies.

Of COURSE they’re gone.

Mmmmm.Pie.

Have I mentioned how much I am in love with this woman? No, it’s more than that.

And then of course she wore my favorite jeans all afternoon, but didn’t put them on till after company arrived, so I had to stare at her perfect backside in them without being able to do shit about it.

Yet.

Tom, though over and over again appraised of his ignorance, keeps coming back. I wonder if he thinks he can convince us how right he is? Oh, no, I remember- that’s not going to be possible, because he isn’t.

“Very charitable of you, Gerry, on this Thanksgiving week. Maybe you ought to use today to reflect on why certain people end up president, and others end up on fixed incomes bitterly complaining about the unfairness of it all.

Happy thanksgiving. “

Well, Tom, “Certain people” got elected, though dismally underqualified to be bathroom attendants in a second rate juke joint, because the combined forces of the Mainstream Media and a campaign of racial intolerance and class envy got him elected. But i guess you’re never going to be clear on that, because you are a moron, and the Democrat Party is the party of Morons.

And “others end up on fixed incomes complaining bitterly” because it is unfair, and they have a right to complain. Unlike the morons with Bush Derangement Syndrome who complained while George was saving their bacon every day. But again, moron, won’t get it, etc.

Hope you have a happy thanksgiving, Tom. I’m still waiting for my check. Maybe you don’t want to send money to me, because you don’t think I deserve it. Wow, what a concept, taking money away from people who earned it and giving it to people who don’t. Hope you like your new overlord. I’d ask what his asshole tastes like, but I don’t want to know.

Not like you do, anyway.