A male turkey has a beard, in the wild, that marks it’s maturity; in indiana a legal turkey has to have a visible beard. Record beards in Indiana are in the 8 inch range-that’s a big bird.

Identifying the North American Fucktard is easier, even, than a turkey; look for the presence of the Obama sticker, or the presence of the individual at any of the Michael Jackson tributes.

You can’t take one actually AT the tribute, or WHILE placing the Obama sticker. Everyone knows it’s not legal to hunt over bait.