One of the first things I’m gonna ask him is about the damned hair. What is it about the aging process that makes you lose hair on your head, and gain it in your ears, nose, and back? I’m not excited about the process of losing my hair but I can cope; having to constantly yank and trim a mountain of ear and nose hair is getting ridiculous. What do I need that hair for? Why didn’t I need it when I was 18? What about Andy Rooney?

These are the burning questions in my mind. I should burn the hair in my nose, I could start a brushfire!

Need more coffee.