Neanderpundit

No, really.

And darkness was upon the land.

Some kind of sinus thing is kicking my ass, so I’m having the damnedest dreams. I dreampt that I had my old Lincoln back, and I was using it to haul an Airstream cross country, and the airstream contained four or five members of my extended family, at least two of whom were dead. One was my long since gone lesbian cousin who kept teasing me about the size of my dick, while I kept retorting that she and her girlfriend were jealous not to have one among them.

On the trip we picked up a pair of my old girlfriends who made the trailer rock like a teeter-totter. As I slid down from the overhead berth where I was playing hide the salami with them, my cousin and her girlfriend, it turns out, were watching the whole deal. “Nice dismount” they said as the applauded and tears streamed from their eyes. “We had no idea it could BE like that.”

I don’t know what the hell they were thinking or talking about, but I woke up before I had a chance to ask. And then I went back to sleep briefly and dreampt I was a scotsman.