Neanderpundit

I heard bits of it, read other bits of it.

Look, he seems to be a ncie enough man. And if he was Zoroastrian but he could run the country and was a strict constructionalist, I’d vote for him.

Still: If you believe in a religion invented by a man who claims to have read it out of a hat, and you wear magic underwear, you’ll pretty much believe anything.

My junk has been leaking out of my drawers all day- and I have an atomic wedgie.

You can clearly see the outline of my enormous balzac through my khakis.

I’d go fix this but the women staring is sort of turning me on.

The restraining orders are kind of an inconvenience.

Taking parts off the truck and getting the customs forms together and driving the “Kia! The Car that you Wear!”

The Kia Rio I’m renting defines shitbox. It’s options are CD player.

Oh, it has AT/PS/PB but I think that’s pretty common.

There’s a little slot in the dashboard that, according to the manual, is a holder for parking stubs. That’s a feature. It also changes lanes automatically. Often, when you least expect it.

Takes me ten minutes with a shoehorn and a couple of warm spoons to get in it. If I have to drive it for more than ten days I’m gonna get a hole saw and cut some arm holes in it. Thank god I’ve gotten down to about a 47, because the car, i’m pretty sure, is a 48.