has now, apparently, crapped on every spot in the yard, and has now taking to crapping on the sidewalk. We’ll have to break him of that habit. Good lord, it isn’t as if the yard isn’t a minefield already.

I’m drinking a lot of fluids these days, and the pissing can only be described as epic. I swear I’m about to wear out the end of my pecker pissing, I was up nine times last night.

When I was young
And ran with the boys
I could piss through a fine gold ring

But now if you gie me a washtub
I canna hit the gorram thing.