Neanderpundit

Vman reminisces, and I can hear the tune pretty clearly, it plays hard in my heart sometimes too. Anyway, he asks, what are my three best things?

I don’t have pictures at present, but I may come back and get some.

Dad’s watch. A South Bend Railroad watch. Nothing fancy, plain nickel case, but a hard wearing workingman’s pocketwatch. Dad bought a suit secondhand to give my aunt away, my grandfather already being an insufferable bastard at that time. The watch was in the vest pocket of the suit. Dad paid two dollars for the suit, and still had it when I was in my teens, a bit threadbare but still hanging in the closet. And the watch is still in my dresser drawer. I wind it once a year, and have a Stroh’s, for Dad.

Uncle Calvin’s Troy Bilt. Still runs like new, though this one is so old it has a four digit serial number. Calvin put five kids through Catholic schools farming with that little red tiller and a pair of Gravelys.

Dad’s Remington. A plain-jane 870, so base model it didn’t have a rib- bought for $80 at a time when $80 was the price of new shoes for a family of four. Came with a box of shells, Montgomery Ward #6 shot. Ten shells are missing, each one represents a rabbit. Of all the firearms I own I never take it out, rarely does it get uncased, I just know it’s there and like it fine like that.

Those are my three best things.

Here’s a piece I received this morning. I assume it was sent to me by this guy.

Dear friend:
We are an electronic products wholesale .Our products are of high quality and low price. If you want to do business , we can offer you the most reasonable discount to make you get more profits.
We are expecting for your business.

Did anyone but me notice the dogs playing poker in the commercial?

Flatulence. I haz it.

and I were speaking just sunday about some acquaintances of mine who have a child and have no business having another, and i suggested that they were both so fat that I don’t know how they’d even get their wobbly, dangly bits into the same area code, let alone in contact with one another. “the People of Walmart are having children all the time” she said, “So there has to be a way”.

And now I discover one of my customer’s employees and his wife have just announced they’re pregnant, and they’re bigger than the other two Jenny and I were talking about.

????

Does he leave a “deposit” on a leather chair and have her come along and sit in it?

Second thought, I don’t want to try to imagine any more.