“You were going two and a half times the speed limit”

“The street was two way. Neither of the ways was Sideways”

“Sweeping the loose gravel off the inside of the Vermillion Parkway S turn is not your responsibility, you were lucky you didn’t get killed”

“There are plenty of good reasons slicks are not allowed on the street”

“Well, Mr Og, this is a new record, you are on the docket for three different violations on the same day”

“Officer N was not attacking you, and vomit was not an appropriate response in any event”

“Traffic school”

“Traffic school”

“There is no road past that intersection. It is a cornfield. Using it as a shortcut to Route 8 causes Farmer X a good deal of distress”

“Traffic school”

“You do understand it is impossible to drive a trailways bus to Cuba, right? ”

“Traffic school”

“Traffic school”

“Traffic school”

“I can’t send you to Traffic school anymore. You know the course better than the instructors. Community service”