The less likely I am to be surprised by anything. Once in a while, though, because of a lifetime of experiences good or bad, a bunch of individual thought legos snap together in a way they never did before, and instead of a handful of caltrops, they merge and become a structure with meaning and sense.

A recent snide comment (Deleted summarily; if you want to discuss something here that’s fine but if you’re gonna be an ass you pixies get thrown out through the door or through the window) by a past commenter about the occasion of death made me think of something in a way I never thought before, and though it is a simple concept it took a morning’s woolgathering for it to assemble itself in my head.

I have never personally known a violent anti-theist who did not have something bad going on. I had been under the impression that they just had strong opinions on the subject, but as I drove to work this morning I reflected on the seven or eight vocal anti-theists I have known well (at least, more than casual acquaintence) there is a patricide, a child molester, an abuser of women, a harpy whose extramarital affairs are legendary, and people who have done far worse things. There was only one I knew who didn’t have one of those skeletons in her closet, and she recently passed; ater her passing I learned- quite accidentally- of her “skeleton”. Yikes.

I also know people who have done those things who are devout and faithful; it clearly isn’t the actions that cause the anti-theism.

It made me wonder: Is the anti-theism a wish, a dream that their actions, their immorality, their hatred will have no consequences? I pondered that a good deal this AM. The pieces fit together pretty well. I’mna have to spend some more time looking at this.

As someone who spends a lot of time looking at patterns, this is a behavioral pattern that does not surprise me, not a bit. But it does enlighten me. If your “belief” that there can be no redemption from your transgression is stronger than your faith can ever be, I can see how you’d want to destroy God with your words.