Neanderpundit

“So the stage manager/director is gay, and he has all the girls wearing TONS of glitter onstage. It’s on and in everything, and the whole auditorium looks like someone was skeet shooting faeries”
“Not the stage manager, I hope”
“No, he’s not even remotely sparkly.”

Later: “Damn, Dad, you’re right, Wrigleyville IS Boystown. I just saw a whole bunch of guys running with a lisp”

Your truck is on fire. No, really, it’s on fire. Do you not see the black smoke coming from underneath? The thing is on fire. Everyone behind you is hacking, and your engine will be out of oil in 5, 4, 3, 2,….

Best of luck with that.

Wife, to husband:”I don’t know why you always pull through to the parking space on the other side. It’s twice as hard to back out and if someone comes up behind you, you’re blocked in”
Husband to wife: ….

Partner and I had a conversation about a similar discussion he had with his girlfriend. At least Partner was sharp enough to spot the signs of impending dumbassery and not get married to her.