Neanderpundit

With all the corruption in the Obama campaign, the culture of corruption that surrounds him, the clear danger of socialism, the inevitable loss of our most important freedoms, the inevitable damage to the US economy, the only reasons to vote for him would be if you’re evil or stupid or a combination of the two. If you’re voting for the Messiah, which one are you? I’m just curious- I cannot imagine any other reason.

One of the things about making like a bear is the lack of suitable support. Our intrepid guides had solved this problem by providing a travelling seat, formerly used as a handicapped crapper for some elderly person. It came in plenty handy.

The first time you use this, you notice several things. First of all, the total lack of surround. So if you absently begin urinating, you realize you’re pissing directly into the seat of your own drawers. Unless you very quickly grab your business and point it straight down. Also, since I have issue with the… size of the Honore De Balzac, it’s not necesary (as is my norm) to hang them over the edge of the seat, they can dangle in the breeze. Which is an interesting sensation.

The most interesting bit, and here’s where the squeamish might want to go see what’s going on at Tam’s today, is the new culinary masterwork I tasted while on safari.

No, I’m not talking about Lechwe, or Reedbok, those things were just meat, and we all know meat is murder, and nurder tastes fine. I’m talking about that bastion of carbohydrate suppliments, the food known as Purina Bachelorette chow, the Canadian “Kraft Dinner”, Macaroni and Cheese.

I had never eaten it before.

We tended not to eat boxed prepackaged stuff in my house, and this was the very worst of it, melted oily pseudo cheese. But this was not what i sampled.

Our cook, Wilson, and one of our hosts, prepared this, with some leftover sghetti noodles and macaroni, about (apparently) forty pounds of butter, and a mountain of shredded cheddar (From Cheddar in England)

It was quite nice, actually. Anything with actual cheese in it is good. And while I dislike pasta, I could handle it.

ANd then I learned something about Pasta.

At least this stuff. It has the same cohesive properties as Rebar.

So as I sat on the camp crapper the next day, and began to lay a cable, I REALLY began to lay a cable. The seat of the crapper was a solid 28″ high, and the latrine hole went a solid 3′ below that. And this sturdy, pasta reinforced turd was hanging almost the whole distance. At some point the weight was so substantial that it began pulling itself out, no straining required at all, and I momentarily feared for the integrity of my large intestine, when it slipped out and plapped into the hole like so much slimy wet rope. I was so empty if i held my mouth just right I whistled like a whiskey jug. I lifted my drawers, flushed,(kick sand into the hole) and went out to shoot me some beests.

Yeah, the mac and cheese was OK, but I’ll hold off on the spaghetti if I ever try to make it myself.

Oprah Winfrey is a dirty, lying, racist bitch of the worst sort.

Come to think about it, Obama is a racist too. I do hope that all you sorry pieces of dog shit who vote for this piece of rat shit be sure to wear a target on your backs when inflation hits 20%, interest rates go to 20%, and our First and Second Amendment Rights are suspended (for our own good, of course).

The fact is, I’m not going after him or her. Nope, that’d be too damn easy. No, I’m coming for you.