or her sister Brenda.

Apparently, whoever the Lewises are, they have been receiving my Dish Network Bills.

I spent a little time on the phone talking to them about it tonight. 45 minutes, to be exact.

40 minutes talking to Sharon. She typed in a lot of information, looked at my account, and came to the conclusion about ten minutes in, that I needed the help of her shift supervisor, who was making the rounds of other people whose problems could only be resolved by a shift supervisor.

So Sharon stalled me for 30 (relatively pleseant minutes) before handing me off to Elisabeth (not her real name either) who said, and I quote:

“Are joo suure you doan no anyone named Dorotee?”

“yes, I’m sure”

“Does jour wife know anyone named forotee?”

“No, she says she doesn’t”

“Do joo rent part of jour house to anyone named dorotee?”

“No, I don’t rent any part of my house”

“Does jour wife rant part of jour house?”

“No, we don’t have a large house, and there are no rental apartments here”

“maybe jour wife rented a room to someone named dorotee”

“no, I’m sure she would have told me.”

“Maybe she was afraid. Could joo ask her?”

So I pretend asked the wife. “No, she did not rent any part of the house to anyone named dorothy, or anyone named lewis, or anyone at all”

“Could joo look and see if there is anyone there?”

I wish I were making this up.

Anyway, this took four minutes. The last minute, I spoke to Bianca. She looked at my account, couldn’t figure how it happened, and assured me she would resolve it.

Then, a half hour later, I get an email confirming the account change. At my email, header “Dorothy Lewis”

Fine, so long as they keep sending the bill to whoever she is. Better if she pays it.